Page 7 of Fiend
Smoking isn’t fucking good either, but goddamnit, what else am I supposed to do? I can feel myself losing my grip on my already precarious stability.
I thought Vincent and I were in a better place than this. I thought we were past the lies and deception, yet here we fucking are.
Him gone without a word, doing fuck all, and I have a goddamn babysitter.
“You shouldn’t be smoking.”
Speaking of…
“I don’t need another person telling me what to do. You know that, Jax.” I sigh and lower the cigarette until the cherry dips into the water and fizzles as it extinguishes. I toss it on the stand next to the tub and wrap my arms around myself once more.
The bitter taste of the cigarette lingers on my tongue, along with guilt.
Fucking great.
“I know, baby girl. I’m just saying Vin isn’t going to like that. But you know I say do what you want.” I hear the door click closed and Jax’s footsteps across the tile. In my peripheral, I see him take a seat on the toilet a few feet from me.
“And I don’t give a fuck what he wants.”
“Fair enough.”
The baby kicks hard into my ribs, and I grit my teeth in pain. I let go of my knees and lean back in the tub again to straighten my legs, in an attempt to give the baby room to move around instead of digging into my fucking ribcage and making it difficult for me to breathe.
We have no idea what the gender is—I chose to wait until they’re born. Vincent wasn’t happy about it, but I refused to budge, and he surprisingly let it be my choice.
“What’s goin’ on? Are you in pain?” Jax is over to me in a second, his hands on my shoulders, rubbing soothing circles. I breathe through another round of sharp pain before peering up at him.
His bleach-blonde hair, which is longer on the top and shorter on the sides, is brushing against his pinched dark brows, one of them with a piercing through it. The silver of his three nose rings glint in the harsh light above along with the one in his lip, and the dimples that are almost always on display are nowhere to be seen.
“I’m fine, babe, really. The baby is just kicking really fucking hard.” I put my hand on Jax’s arm, trying to reassure him. He lays his other hand on mine, but his gaze never leaves mine.
“Are you sure? We can take you to the hospital or something…”
“Stop. I’m fine.” I change the subject. “So, are you going to tell me where they went?”
“Where who went?” He resumes his massage of my shoulders, trying to act coy, but we both know better.
“Fucking really? You’ve been putting off answering me all day.” I turn back to glare at him, and he rolls his eyes.
“Baby girl, I don’t really want to tell you.”
“Jaxon, I swear to fucking—”
His voice is hard, almost cold, as he says, “They found the driver of the hit and run.”
I swear everything around me comes to a standstill. My heart, my breathing. The fuckingworldstops spinning. “What thefuckdo you mean?”
This time, Jax sighs. “Youknowwhat I mean. They found him. And I’m sure you can imagine what they’re going to do.” His words are harsh; the worry is evident in his tone. For Leo. I don’t know what they are to each other anymore, with their over two years of off-and-on bullshit, but I know thereissomething there.
The water surrounding me cools in an instant as my blood turns to ice in my veins, slowing and preventing me from moving. It’s hard to breathe, my lungs refusing to do the one thing they are supposed to.
Dread and gut-wrenching worry have me shooting up in the tub. Jax falls backward, his hands falling from my shoulders at my unexpected movement. I lift my foot over the side, adamant to get Vincent on the fucking phone and make his ass come back home right the fuck now, but my right foot slips on the bottom of the rounded tub, and I lose my balance.
Everything slows to a crawl, and déjà vu hits me like a tidal wave of blinding pain and blood.
“Essa!Fuck!”
FOUR
