Page 11 of My Lovely Tragedy
“I didn’t mind. It was…” He peers somewhere behind my head and takes a breath. I watch the subtle rise and fall of his chest. “Refreshing,” he finally says.
“Refreshing?”
“Mmm.Most people don’t speak their mind. I find it quite interesting—even if your approach is a bit… unorthodox.”Rude,is what he doesn’t say.
“That’s a first.”
“Are you going to tell me who you are?” His back is to me again, so I trace the interwoven pattern of his sweater.
“Why haven’t you just Googled me if you’re so curious?”
“I suppose I could,” Tobias muses, reaching up to put the plates he’s dried back in their rightful place. “But I’d rather hear it from you. Also, the internet is down, along with cell service, so an attempt toGoogleanything might prove to be difficult.”
“There’s no cell service?” Tobias shakes his head.
“Unfortunately, no. It doesn’t always go out, but this storm knocked just about everything out, if I had to guess.”
“Well, that’s just fucking great,” I mumble. A prickle of anxiety lingers in my chest. I know the guys are losing their minds right now. It’s the next day, and I’m not back.
Ialwayscome back.
And now I can’t tell them that at least I’m okay.
My head drops into my hands as the headache persists with a vengeance.
“Are you all right?” Tobias’s voice comes from somewhere to my right. I laugh, but it comes out strangled.
“No, dude. I’m not fucking okay.” I lift my head, forcing my heavy gaze on him. Pushing a few wet strands from my face, I shove to my feet. “You’re nice and everything, but I don’t know you or even where I am. Why I’m here! And I can’t even tell my family that I’m at least safe!” They’re most likely freaking out, especially since I left—and they had no idea.
Why do I always walk away?
Pain lances my chest—tight and constricting. I dig the heel of my hand into my sternum as I fight to push air through my closed-off throat, head swimming with panic.
It douses me from head to toe, a heavy, palpitating sensation like electricity in my blood, coursing through my veins at speeds that are incomprehensible.Debilitating.
The wood floor blurs and warps beneath my feet just as my knees give out, and I feel the pressure of gravity pulling me downward.
Strong arms hook beneath mine, capturing me moments before my knees crack. My breaths are heavy, loud, whistling exhales as I pant helplessly, gaze locked on the piano. The only seemingly steady object within my line of sight.
Tobias slowly lowers me to the floor, with him right behind me. I collapse against his chest, head falling against his shoulders as I fight for control—but there is no control. Not when nothing makes sense.
“Feel your heart.” A whisper in my ear, air a gentle, warm puff against my skin.
I feel it… and ithurts.
“Feel the way it’s beating. Heavy inside your ribcage, hard enough to splinter the bone.” His words are awash, lost in the echoes.
His fingers find mine, spreading them wide from the tight fists I’ve captured them in. My palms sting from the blunt tears of my nails. The air entering the wounds feels nice. Raw.
“Feel the air on your skin. The sharpness. Feel it in your lungs when you inhale.” Like his words are an instruction, I force my lungs to obey, focusing on the sensation of them rising, my heart beating within. The relief of oxygen, even if it hurts.
“Now, listen for the rush as you exhale through your lips. The sound it makes as it passes.”
It’s a low-lying whistle. Like the harshest breeze.
“Feel it again. Thin air all around. The slowing of your heart. How your body works its way back into rhythm.”
With my eyes stinging, that’s what I do. I lie against someone I don’t know, listening to his words as he gets inside my head and brings me back from a place I fear will kill me one day if I can’t find my way back in time.
