Page 84 of My Lovely Tragedy
Finally,I fucking see. I see everything I have ever wanted to—and the depth in which I finally can scare the fuck out of me.
His garnet irises shine as his own tears spill over. I feel them slide across my cheeks, the saltiness as they absorb into my tongue. “You aremagnificent,Brooklyn Crow. An entity in which I only everwrote of.I ached with the desire to feel it myself, but I knew it was not feasible. To feel such love. Such passion and desire and enchanting beauty.
“It was the thing of fiction. Why millions of people read, fall in love with the storiesI write.So they can experience the impossibility too, even as they know they shall never have that for themselves.”
His words come out fast and breathless as his thumbs drag hot across my neck, over my pulse and pressing hard against it as our faces slide together, slickened with tears. His and mine, now one.
“What… love?” I croak.That’s not what this is. It can’t be…
“No,” he whispers. Leans into me until not even a breath separates us. “Credence.” And then, his hands abandon my body, leaving me cold and alone. My legs tremble, threatening to give out on me any moment as I watch Tobias finger the collar of his fitted black shirt before sinking his fingers beneath the crisp edge.
He tugs out a thin, gold chain, exposing it to the low light. A small silver key dangles off the end, resting in the center of his sternum. His fingers skim over the teeth with a revered tenderness before his arm falls to his side, still so far away.
I can’t take my eyes off of it.
It’s so… small. I don’t know why I was expecting something bigger. Perhaps because the chains binding me to him are so thick and substantial and impossible to ignore. So heavy, they’ve bruised my bone, wrists permanently marred with the consequence of their weight.
But there it is. Around his neck. Wrapped in gold.
Right in front of me this whole time.
The realization hits me like a punch to the solar plexus. I gasp and collapse to the floor. My chains follow, just as they’re bid to. I clutch them to my chest as sobs wrack through me, volatile and agonizing and terrifying.
The wood grain dances in my vision, even as black bleeds into the edges. But no—not black. Gray.
Stained crimson.
Hands, hot and solid, glide across my back. I flinch away even as I lean into them. Hating and needing with equal measure. Everybreathaches in a way I never imagined possible.
It’s not because he held my freedom so carelessly around his neck.
But because I never thought of looking. Sure, I held the knife to his throat, even thought of slicing his skin open, but I didn’twant to.I just wanted him to…not.
And now I know it was never what it was. It was everything it wasn’t.
“Darling…” Tobias’s voice cracks beside me, an echo of what I’m feeling. Mirrored and shattered.
“H-hurts,” I whimper, curling further into myself, my chains my only solace.
“I know, lovely boy. I know.” His knees slam against the floor with a loud crack. Trembling hands dip into my peripheral. Stark veins line the backs of his hands, a sharp contrast to the smattering of dark hair leading from his wrist up each forearm. Familiar and warm.
His arms wrap around me. Not holding me tohim—but to keep me together.
“I—this… but I—Ican’t—” I bury my face into his chest, that fuckingkeydigging painfully into my skin.I saw it. That day when Tobias was in the bathroom. I saw that flash of gold around his neck.
I could’ve… I would have….
I push harder, ensuring it leaves its mark—as it should.
As it has.
“Talk to me, Brooklyn.” His fingers rake through my hair, tugging gently. “Tell me what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours.”
“J-just you.” I hiccup pathetically. “Alwaysyou.”
“I cannot deny the pleasure that brings me,” he responds softly, like he’s trying not to unsettle me but wants to be honest.
What a fucking joke.
