Page 98 of My Lovely Tragedy
“Why not?”
“Jesus.Here we go with you answering a question with a question. I thought we were over this shit.”
“My apologies, darling.” But he doesn’t even try to answer becauseof course not.
Whatever.
“Asshole,” I mumble as I take a sip and regret it immediately. A raging burn slinks its way down my throat where it pools in my gut, radiating outward like toxic fuckingwaste.“Fuck!” I hack a lung up, left panting and regretting every single life choice I’ve ever made. “That shit tastes like gasoline,” I rasp after I’ve caught my breath.
Tobias’s mouth twitches, eyes raking over me. “I quite like it.” He brings it to his nose and swirls the liquor around inside. His eyelids flutter as his chest expands. “It makes me think of you.”
“Whythe fuckdoes this shit make you think of me?” I ask, quite franklyoffended.
“The spice—the cinnamon, more specifically.” I look down at my glass. Back up at him. Down again.
“Yeah. You’re full of shit. There’sno wayyou can tell what it tastes likeother thanfucking gas.”
“Such foul language,” he admonishes with a sigh. “You don’t have to agree.”
“Good. Because I don’t. And frankly, I find it offensive something so atrocious makes you think of me.” And then, I take another drink because I’m a fucking masochist, and it makes Tobias think of me, and I likethat.
The coughing fit this time is less severe, and I gain my dignity much faster. I’d say I’m making progress.
“I don’t believe in fate because life has brought me nothing but shitty situations and one tragedy after the other,” I speak into my glass.
“What of your successes?”
“I worked my fucking ass off for those. Some unseen force didn’t make it happen.” I sound bitter—because I am.
“Yes, of course. I should have been more specific. I’m speaking more in regard to your family.”
“Which one?” I grumble.
“The one you chose.”
“Okay… what about them?” My fingers clamp around the crystal. Blanched.
“Perhaps you meeting them was fate. They were exactly what you needed. All three of them fit perfectly into the pieces of a life you created just for yourself. And each of them became someone you needed. Surely that wasn’t coincidence or luck, but what was meant to be.”
I swallow his words, disliking how uncomfortable they are. “I don’t know about that. Look at where I am. Not with them because they aren’t even looking for me. They don’t care I’m gone. They probably gave up, assume I’m on a fuckingbender.” I grit my teeth, even as my eyes burn with heartbreak.
The very people I always expected to have my back…
“Of course, they are looking for you, my belovedcorvus.Anyone who knows you wouldn’t dare give up.”
I blink. A tear falls. “How...”
“The internet is a wonderful source of information.”
For some reason, justknowingthey haven’t given up—and that Tobias looked—means more than I thought possible.
“Thank you,” I croak, then hide behind my glass with another swallow—or more like a gulp. And then, I choke.
“I believe in fate because it brought me you.” His voice is a gentle ease working its way through the pits of despair threatening to swarm once more. I pull on him like a lifeline. Because he wants me to—and becauseI can.
I’m not alone—and I don’t have to be.
“So, you never believed in it before me?”
