Page 16 of Make Me Pretty
“Yep.” He pops the p loudly.
My head dips down, forehead creased. “Why didn’t I know that?”
“You never asked,” Gabe says easily. “And you’ve made comments before.” His voice is softer at the end, more hesitant.
“Shit.” I drop my head into my hands, digging the heels of my palms into my eye sockets. My mind is spinning with everything that’s happened in the last thirty minutes or so. I can’t keep up. “I’m sorry, Gabe. I didn’t mean to—It wasme.Because of…”
“I know.”
“But that’s no excuse.”
“No, it’s not.”
“I’ll try to be better. I hate that I… Fuck. I hurt you,” I trail off, and it sounds like a question.
“You didn’t really because I know it didn’t come from a malicious place. Well… I think it did, but not specifically to anyone other than yourself.” He meets my stare with a solid one of his own. “Right?”
Just say it, Peris.My lips part, but nothing comes out. Eventually, I press them back together to gnaw on the inside.
“I’m sorry,” I say again because that’s all Icansay.
“I know.” He grabs my shoulder and shakes me before dropping back on his extended arms. The basketball rests a few feet away, having remained untouched since the conversationstarted. I walk over and pick it up, rolling it between my hands as I dig the toes of my shoes into the dead leaves littering the grass.
“You were right about me.”
The wood creaks as he shifts. “You wanna elaborate on that?”
I glance over my shoulder at him. “No.”
His lips crack into a small smile. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”
“I don’t know what to do about Abel, Gabe. I tried…” I can’t turn around and face him. “Before I came here today, my mom had me drive him wherever—I don’t know. But I tried warning him that if he keeps pushing, I’m going to snap. I-I canfeelthe anger in me festering—hotter than before. And he’s drawing it out of me, all this nastiness I've been shoving down.
"It's not good, dude.”I’m not good,I nearly say, but manage to keep it just inside as I continue.“I’ve got shit you don’t know about. That no one does and it’s who I am, but I’ve been burying it for, well, for forever, and Abel… he’s just.Fuck.” I squeeze the ball as tightly as I can.
There’s a long pause, and I grow antsy waiting for Gabe to say something.Anything.
After a quick flash of our gazes meeting, Gabe’s mouth twists to the side like he’s thinking about something, and then, it fades into something softer as he says,“You’ve had a few foster siblings before. It’s nothing you don’t already know.”
I clench my teeth, glancing down at my hands, white-knuckled with veins straining. “Yeah, but this is different.”
“Because you already know Abel? Or because you have feelings for him?”
Feelings.I scoff. More like an unsightly obsession bordering on violent tendencies. “Becausehefucking knows me,” I grumble. “And he’s living in my house.”
“Ahh,” Gabe exclaims. “You can’t get away from him.”
“No. I can’t. He’s everywhere. All the time.”
“Even I’ve noticed his, erm, constant presence.”
“See, I knew it wasn’t just in my fucking head!” I growl, bouncing the ball between my feet. Gabe saddles up behind me and steals it mid-air to twirl it on his index finger.
“Nah, it’s not.”
“My mom doesn’t know about…” I trail off. I don’t need to say it.
He spins the ball in his hands. “That y’all wanna fuck or that he supposedly fucks for money, as the rumors say?”
