Page 24 of Make Me Pretty
He’s so different than the rest.
What am I supposed to do with that?
“You’re still touching me,” I say after a very,verylong minute. Peris jerks away as if burned, causing a snort to rip from my throat. He pins me with a glare of disgust that I return with a crooked smile. “Wanna tell me to shut up again?”
His dark eyebrows furrow for a minute before he scoffs and drags a hand through his hair, slicking it back. “You just never give it a rest. I’vetold you?—”
“Why should I?” I ask, genuinely curious as I prop my head in my palm, one hundred percent of my attention on Peris with Mr. Lang’s voice nothing but staticky background noise. I already know I’m going to fall behind if I don’t pull myself out of this… this vortex. But Peris is so consuming, and it feels… well, not good, but it’ssomething.
“Because you don’t knowshit,Abel. I’m going to—” he cuts himself off so sharply, the room sluices into silence.
“Is everything all right up there, Mr. Baxter? Mr. Silver?” Mr. Lang’s voice carries easily across the quiet room.
“Peachy,” I grin. He only lifts his eyebrows, unamused.
“Sorry, Mr. Lang,” Peris mumbles, turning away from me and dragging his pen across his spiral notebook, scribbling notes to catch up. On what, I couldn’t exactly fucking say.
After a resolute nod, the teacher turns back to the board to finish his diagram of some character’s trait analysis.
I drag my own notebook closer and copy what’s on the board, but my focus remains on Peris’s heat, so close. Too far.
The minutes are long, filled with vigorous discussions. Of breaking down and analyzing certain character personalities based on specific decision making, an entirely different approach to the online version, so I’m struggling to follow along in this new format.
As I twist my pencil between my knobby fingers, choosing to listen rather than participate, I catch sight of Peris watching me out of the corner of his eye. I tap my pencil to my paper, not sparing him a cursory glance. “Might wanna pay attention. This class is hard.”
“How the hell would you even?—”
“And to respond to your earlier statement—I do, in fact, know quite a bit. Probably more than you wish I did, I’d wager. That’s why you can’t stand me. And why you’re now avoiding me.”
It’s the most I’ve ever said to him about… whatever this is between us.Ifit even is anything. I’m not really sure anymore. It’s been weeks—months—of this intense back and forth, and I’m starting to lose the plot. More entertained with the mere prospect of Peris than anything else. I’ve never been more invested in a singular person.
“No, Abel. Youdon’tknow. You only fuckingthink.” His pen looks near its snapping point, cracking under the pressure of his fingers. “Which is an anomaly in and of itself.”
Cheeky.
“So, you’re not attracted to me, theobviouslygay twink?” I smirk before continuing in a hushed drawl as students break off to start a project that’s apparently been discussed, but fuck if I know what it is. Probably in the papers the teacher gave me.
“You’re not drowning in your own internalized homophobia? You don’t hate everything I am, what you saw, because it’s something you can’t have? Can’t evenimagineyourself having. Iamcurious as to why your animosity is so strong. I mean…” I tap my pencil eraser to my chin. “There has to be a reason—there always is, you know.” I flip him a look.
“Porn exists. A thousand times more graphic than a meager hand job in a high school choir room. And I guarantee you’ve seen more—and worse. So what was it about that night?” I think aloud, dropping my chin into my palm. The hum of the voices are lost amongst the echoes in my mind.
He ignores everything I said. “None of your goddamn business,” he snaps harshly, nostrils flared. For a moment, I imagine smoke pouring from the opened passageways, like he’s breathing fire through his indignation.
The thought makes me chuckle. “Doesn’t it get tiring, Peris?”
“What?” he grumbles, eyes fixed forward, glassy and vacant. The fire has left, leaving nothing but ruined ashes in its wake.
“Being so pissed off all the time.”
A pause the length of the beat of my heart stretches between us.
“You have no idea.”
CHAPTER 7
ABEL
Why,indeed,I think on the walk home. The weather has cooled significantly, so I wrap my arms around my middle against the low breeze. Thankfully, the walk back to Elise’s house isn’t long, and I rather enjoy the fresh air. The cool, crispness of autumn—my favorite time of the year. Where everything is barren and dead.
