Page 82 of Make Me Pretty
I bend over, putting my face millimeters from his. “What the fuck was that?” My jaw pops through the harsh grind of my molars. Abel’s lips part, and the flash of pink amidst purple lipstick feels like a taunt.
I loosen my hold just enough for him to steal a breath. “What?” he asks. “Me punching that prick?”
“Obviously,” I snap, feeling equal parts pissed off and… mollified.
It’s confusing,
Abel’s eyes flash, and I get lost in their molten silver. “You weren’t gonna do shit, and I wasn’t gonna stand there and listen to his slurs.”
“I don’t need you fighting my battles for me, pup.” I enunciate the fact with another squeeze against his delicate throat. He swallows against the pressure, neck arching and rolling to the side.
Abel scoffs. “It was just as much for me as it was for you.”
“Right. Because you just go around hitting people every time they spew a slur.”
He pushes up against my hand, using the heel of his palms to press as close as he can. I’m caught in his palpable strength. “It hurts, doesn’t it?” His voice is a slithering whisper up my neck, wrapping around my brain stem.
“Knowing that people hate who you are. That they’ll go out of their way to make sure you knowjusthow much. Spitting words they think cut and maim.”
My nose wriggles against the onslaught of a burning sensation. It shoots up into my eyes, distorting the ugly boy sitting before me. He’s everything I hate, all I can’t be, and exactly what I want.
“They hurt you, too,” is all I can think to say. I know they did.It wasn’t just me.
The small shake of Abel’s head makes my stomach flip upside down and inside out. His fat lips curl inward over his crooked teeth. “They only hurt me because I saw how they hurt you.”
It all comes screeching to a halt. The room stops spinning, my heart no longer thrashing, lungs not contracting. Only the rush in my ears as my fingers lose their grip and Abel slips through—down, down, down. Then up as he pushes against me.
I stumble backward, staring down at him with wide eyes.I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t want to know. To be…
And it’s Abel’s fuckingpitythat pushes the universe back into it’s orbit. That sad-eyed sympathy that rights all the wrongs again.
Hot air pushes through my nostrils, burning my chest as I drag my fingers over his cropped air before gripping one of his braids and yanking his head to the side. He stumbles over the last row, body bent into a sideways curve.
“Fuck, Peris,” he yelps when I yank harder, just to hear his pain.
He’s wrong. It didn’t hurt because it’s not true.
Or fuck, maybe it is. Maybe I am a queer. Afaggot.
“I don’t need your fucking pity.”
Abel scoffs before mewling when my nails sink into his scalp. “When are you gonna accept it, Peris? When are you finally going to stop fighting?”
“I’m not fighting anything. And there’s nothing to accept.”
Finding his footing, he pulls against my grip, brought up short when he’s yanked closer. “Right. Because touching me, kissing me,fucking me,andlovingevery second of itdoesn’t mean shit. Yeah, you’re right, Peris. You’re so fuckingstraight,” he sneers with a grimace, likehe’sdisgusted with me.
“You want me toacceptit, runt?” I pull him against me. My teeth graze his ear. “I accept that I happen to like your used-up pussy wrapped around my dick. I also like shoving myself down your throat because you’re exceptionally good at swallowing cock.”
“Calling myassholea pussy doesn’t make it any less of an asshole, Peris.”
“Oh, I’m well aware of that fact.” My tongue licks across the barbell in his upper ear. “But I also know how muchyoulove thinking of your hole as a pussy. The flush the very first time I said it. The wideness of your eyes.” I place my palm against his sternum, hating the rough texture of his polyester outfit.
“Yeah. I can feel your heartbeat right now.” My hand drags down over his stomach, fingertips skimming that peek of skin that’s been taunting me all night. I swirl my digits through thehair there, delving down beneath the band of his high-waisted skirt.
“There are cameras, Peris.”
I still for a moment. One beat. My eyes flick up to the corners of the gym.Shit.“What’s your point?”
