Page 57 of Awaiting the Storm
My stomach tightens just slightly. I know where this is headed, even before he says the next part.
“I don’t want to be your friend.” His voice is low but steady, and it hangs in the air between us like an autumn leaf refusing to let go and fall.
I turn back toward the arena, watching Shelby give Jupiter a final pat before bringing him in.
“Carl …”
He doesn’t wait for me to finish. “I know I screwed up. I left when things got bad. I was scared. I told myself I had good reasons, but there was no excuse—and none of that matters now anyway. I can’t undo what was done, and I’ve been singing this same song on repeat since I came back. What matters is that I came back and I’m still here. And I love you.”
I don’t look at him. I keep my eyes on my sister and her horse, on the dust settling on the track.
“I know you do,” I say quietly.
He shifts beside me, searching for something in my profile. “And?”
“And I don’t know if I feel the same way anymore. If I can.”
His breath catches just enough that I hear it.
“I don’t want to lead you on,” I say, turning to meet his eyes. “I care about you. A lot. And I’m not sure we can ever get back what we were. I’ve changed. The past few years have changed me. And I’m not the same woman I was when we were together.”
His jaw tenses. “Is this about him?”
“Him?”
“Galloway. I saw the way you were with him that night at thehospital. Cabe said you guys were at some business dinner, but you two sure looked cozy.”
“It was a business dinner. And when Charli called, he drove me to the hospital because I was too upset to drive myself.”
“Matty, you clung to him.”
Did I? I can barely remember what happened once we walked through the emergency room doors.
“This isn’t about anyone else,” I say. “This is about the two of us.”
Carl looks down at his boots, then nods slowly. “Okay then.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, and I mean it.
“Don’t be. Like I said, I’m not going anywhere.”
He pushes off the fence and starts to walk away, but stops and looks back. “For what it’s worth, I think you should steer clear of him.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Caison?”
“Yeah. I don’t trust him.”
I shake my head. “That’s not your call.”
“No,” he agrees. “But I’ve seen a lot of men chase land and influence and hide behind charm. I just hope he’s not playing you.”
I don’t respond. Because honestly, I’ve wondered the same. But Caison’s done everything right. Everything on the up and up. He gave us time. Gave me space. And he never once pushed for more than I was willing to give.
Carl walks off toward the barn, and I stay rooted in place, gripping the fence rail and feeling the cool metal bite into my palms.
The sky is pinking at the edge of the mountains now, and the wind’s finally died down. Shelby walks past me, leading Jupiter back to the stables, humming under her breath.
Charli slides down from the fence and comes to stand beside me. “You all right, Sissy?” she asks.
