Page 15 of Beautifully Shattered
He nods, his whiskey eyes locked on mine. “Good. Think about that. Picture it. What do you see?”
When I think of his place, one room lights up in my mind like a flare.
“Your room,” I whisper.
“Good. Stay there. What do you see in it?”
“Your guitars,” I breathe, the tight coil in my chest easing slightly. “The window that overlooks the barn and pond. The couch…” I trail off, not wanting to admit what comes to mind when I think of his couch. What wedidon it.
But a small smile tugs at Ringo’s lips, like he knows exactly what memory crashed into me.
“When you feel panicked, think of that place.” His thumb grazes over my lips, and for a moment, I forget we’re not alone. “Or any place that makes you feel at ease.”
I nod slowly, my eyes locked with his, sinking into them like they are the only thing keeping me afloat.
Slowly, his hands fall away, and I immediately feel their absence, leaving me cold and alone once again.
“I just…” I start, heat pricking the backs of my eyes as I remember what had me spiralling briefly. “I just need to know who died.”
He nods. “Soon, Angel. I have to take care of something. I’ll be back in fifteen.” His gaze shifts to Lexi. “Stay with her until I come back.” Then he glances around the room. “All of you.”
Everyone nods, and his eyes fall back to mine as he lifts my hand and presses his lips to it.
“I’ll be right back.”
I nod, even though I don’t want him to go, and I watch him stand, hurrying from the room.
I’m more than curious what is so urgent that he has to rush off, but then, the reason why I’m here in this hospital bed hits me again, and I just want to shatter.
Bobbi.
My friends talk to me about what? I can’t tell. Their words drift around me like static, their worried gazes flicking to me, but their voices… well, it’s all just white noise right now, because all I can hear is the blood in my veins, thundering like a stampede of elephants.
They ask me questions, but I can’t even summon the energy to listen, let alone answer.
I know they mean well, but I just want them to leave. I want everyone to just go away and leave me alone.
I don’t want to be here.
It would be better for everyone if I just go. The amount of suffering I’ve dragged into their lives, either directly or indirectly, is why I can’t stay. They’d be better off without me. Then they can finally breathe. Live a life free of worry. Free of the rapists hunting me. No more crooked cops to worry about raiding them or kidnapping anyone. No more Southern Sadists risking their lives for someone who’s not even worthy of their protection.
“Hey, Abs.” Lexi’s voice pierces through the armour quickly moulding around me, her touch gentle as she gives my shoulder a squeeze.
I blink at her, the sound of the room rushing back in, which is when I notice there’s only Lexi, Jared and Marcus left in here with me.
Myoldest friends.
“Sorry for bringing everyone. They were worried, and I thought seeing them might perk you up a bit, but I can see now it was too much.”
I nod. “Yeah… I’m not good company right now.”
“We don’t have to talk, Abs. We just want to be here for you.” Marcus lowers himself to the end of the bed, his eyes meeting mine.
There’s no pressure in them. No judgment. Just… love.
But I can’t take it.
“I think… all I need right now is to be alone.”
