Page 24 of Beautifully Shattered
Abbey is hiding again. Wrapped up tight like the world can’t touch her if she stays buried deep enough.
She’s been sleeping her days away. Or at least, pretending to so she can avoid interacting with everyone.
With me.
I get it. I really fucking do. But watching her disappear like this is fucking breaking me.
I don’t want to lose her. Not when I only just found her. Not when, for the first time in years, she’s the reason I feelalive.
Jols is right, though.
This isn’t about me.
This is about Abbey.
Her pain. Her way of coping.
Moving around the bed, her face is mostly hidden under the blankets, eyes closed, but her lids are twitching, like she’s really awake and is pretending to be asleep.
Sliding down the wall, I sit on the floor beside the bed, my back resting against the cool plaster as I stare at her face.
Then she sighs and slowly blinks her eyes open.
“I can feel you staring.”
I smirk, but it’s barely there. It’s too fucking hard to pretend right now.
Her caramel stare is lifeless. Like the light in her orbs has been snuffed out.
“How are you feeling about killing that man?” I ask quietly, and she rolls her eyes.
“The same way I felt the ten other times you asked me,” she mutters, shifting slightly under the blankets, and for a second, I think she is going to roll away, but all she does is bunch the pillow under the side of her face a little more.
Good. She’s not pushing me away just yet.
“Do you understandwhyI’m asking you?”
She just shrugs at my question.
“The Abbey I knew a week ago would be struggling with taking someone’s life.” I point out, my voice soft, but the truth of it hits hard.
“The Abbey you knew a week ago is gone.” Her tone is flat. So matter-of-fact. And fuck, her words slice through me like a fucking blade.
My face falls at her honesty, but I don’t like it one fucking bit.
“So what?” I snap. “Now human life is worthless? Expendable?”
Again, she rolls her eyes. “Of course not. Only the ones that deserve to die.”
I lean forward a little, my tone low and steady. “And who deserves to die?”
She sits up quickly, taking me by surprise, and starts reeling off the names like she’s been keeping a list in her head.
I guess it’s no different from the list I asked her to write out for me when I first took her.
“Ian Allen, Donny, Daniel, maybe his dad, Darnel, Minister Banes, all of Ian Allen’s cronies, the Satan’s Rebels… oh and my mum, maybe my dad and sister Maggie.”
Fuck.
