Page 3 of Beautifully Shattered
I stare at the door for a few beats, part of me fucking terrified to go back in there and face my wife. Face whatever questions she’s about to throw at me.
But fuck, I love her. I can’t turn my back on her. She needs me more than ever.
Slowly, I dragin a deep, steadying breath, bracing myself.
When I step back into Abbey’s room, she’s sitting up in bed, anxiously biting at her nails.
“Will the nurse be long?” she asks, her eyes bright with anticipation, and my fucking heart sinks to the pit of my gut.
This is so fucking cruel.
“I’m not sure,” I grit out, my voice rough as I fight back the kind of emotions I’ve never been good at dealing with.
Nodding, Abbey’s gaze drops to her stomach as she pulls back the sheet.
“It’s hard to believe how much my belly has gone down already,” she says with a soft grin. “It’s kind of like a deflated balloon.”
“Yeah.” I force a smile as I retake my seat by her bedside, watching her jab a finger into the hospital gown where her bump used to be.
“How long have I been here?” she asks, settling back into the pillow before a yawn engulfs her.
“A bit over a day,” I admit, tracking every flicker of expression on her face like it might be the one that shatters her.
“Have I been asleep this whole time?”
“Not asleep,” I pause, dragging in a steadying breath as the memory of blood haemorrhaging from her sends my heart into a full-blown panic. “More like passed out. Like the nurse said. You lost a lot of blood.”
She nods slowly, like she’s letting that sink in.
“Bobbi will be starving, then. I want to try breastfeeding her. Make sure she gets all the good stuff.”
Fucking hell. I can’t do it. I can’t fucking lie to her.
I’mabout to open up her emotional wound when the door swings open, and the doctor walks in, smiling warmly at Abbey as she rounds the bed.
“Abigail. I’m Doctor Madden.”
“Oh, hi.” Abbey smiles, sitting taller in the bed, the exhaustion she wore moments ago falling away. “I’d like to see my baby, please. She must be hungry, and I’d really like to start breastfeeding her.”
Dr Madden doesn’t miss a beat, not even flinching at my Angel’s request.
“I’m sorry,” she says gently, “but I’m afraid I can’t bring Bobbi to you.”
Abbey’s face falls. “Why?”
Dr Madden reaches out, taking Abbey’s hand between hers, the warm smile fading into something softer, full of sympathy.
“Abigail… Bobbi didn’t survive. She fought as hard as she could, and we did everything in our power to resuscitate her… but we weren’t able to save her.”
Abbey’s eyes flood with tears, her gaze snapping to me.
“But… she was alive. I held her,” she whispers, yanking her hand from the doctor’s and pressing both palms to her chest, right where Bobbi had rested after the birth. “She made the cutest little sound, and she squirmed on me. Ifelther.”
Dr Madden nods. “Yes… you were lucky to have those few precious moments with her. I wish you’d had longer together, but I’m afraid there was nothing more we could do.”
My Angel’s hands stay glued to her chest where I know she still feels her baby girl’s warmth… even if it’s only a memory.
She shakes her head, her eyes snapping to mine, full of betrayal.
