Page 4 of Beautifully Shattered
“I asked you to keep her alive. To give her my blood. Tomake sureshe lived.”
“I tried,” I choke out, my fucking eyes burning as I fight like hell to hold my shit together. “I’m not a doctor though, Angel.”
“I’m afraid there was nothing your husband could have done.” Dr Madden cuts in gently, redirecting Abbey’s attention back to her. “We had a team working on her, and a team working on you. I wish I could tell you something different, but Bobbi just wasn’t strong enough to survive the conditions she was born in. And you… well, honestly, with all the blood you lost from the placental abruption, it’s a miracle we didn’t lose you too.”
A sob rips from Abbey as she shakes her head.
“Why would you save me? Why would I want to be here without my little girl?” Her tear-filled eyes lock on mine, broken and furious all at once. “I don’t want to live in a world where men think it’s okay to rape and beat women. Why would I want to live when those are the only memories IHAVE!?”
The scream that tears from her throat has Dr Madden flinching, and Abbey fists her hands in her hair, glaring at the doctor like she’s ready to burn the whole world down.
“YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE SAVED ME!”
“Please calm down, Mrs Musgrove, or I’ll have to get someone from psych in here.”
“Get the fuck out!” I’m on my feet in an instant, and Doctor Madden jolts at the lethal edge in my voice. “You bring psych anywhere near her, and I’ll fucking gut you, and them.” I jab a sharp finger towards her, fury cracking beneath my skin. “She just learned that her baby died. Her fucking reaction is valid!”
“But… she might try to harm herself.”
Ishake my head. “You don’t fucking know her. She wouldneverdo that.”
I point to the door, my stare daring her to say another word.
She gets the message, holding her arms up in defeat as she backs away and leaves the room, and fuck, I don’t even know if I believe what I just said.
The only thing that ever made Abbey fight was to keep her baby safe.
Now Bobbi is gone.
Now the one thing she was fighting for is no more.
I wish I could say that what we have is enough, but what if… it’s not?
As the door swings shut, it flies open again, and the moment Abbey locks eyes on her best friend Lexi, I crumble to my knees.
Lexi is on the bed in an instant, wrapping her arms around Abbey as they fall into each other. Their guttural cries fill the room, raw and broken, and I know then that my beautiful Angel finally understands her daughter didn’t survive.
Any chance I had at holding back my own pain is ripped straight out of me as the sound of Abbey’s grief, laced with such agony, tears my fucking heart from my chest.
2
Nothing feels real. Not this hospital, not the staff, not even me. It’s like I’ve slipped into another dimension. A place built from nightmares, where the sun never truly rises and the moon never truly beams. A world ruled by pain and suffering, where any trace of happiness is ripped away the second it dares to appear, like it was never real. Just a tease. A cruel reminder that you’ll never crawl out of Hell.
They’ve wrapped me in heated blankets, but nothing can melt the ice in my veins. They can’t stop the trembles that wrack my body as Ringo pushes me in a wheelchair. Lexi walking beside me, her hand in mine, offering support, but her hold feels like disintegrating mist. It’s there… but not.
All I can feel is this brutal grief, squeezing my heart with so much force I’m certain it’s about to explode.
I wish it would.
I don’t wantto do this… but I have to. I won’t be able to make sense of anything until I see Bobbi with my own eyes. Maybe that’s the moment I’ll snap awake. Maybe this whole thing is just a fucked-up dream.
God, I want that maybe to be real.
The sight of Doctor Madden standing outside the door with ‘Morgue’ written across it has my stomach roiling.
I want this to be a dream, but I know it’s not. Even though nothing feels real, everything also hits with a vividness that guts me.
Dammit. I don’t even know anymore. My head is all kinds of wrong right now.
