Page 92 of Beautifully Shattered
When I sit back up, I swipe at my tears, accepting the tissue Lexi offers me, and I glance at Ringo, taking the hand he offers so I can prepare to say my final goodbye.
“Under this Jacaranda, where two babies now sleep forever, may the wind carry the lullabies of our hearts.” I sob. “I will miss the lifetime we lost. But I will never,everstop being your mum.”
I collapse back over the casket, not ready to stand and leave her yet, crying as others join me, my heartbreak bleeding into the world around us.
No one speaks. They remain where they are, patient and respectful as my grief takes hold.
When my wracking sobs ease, and I work up the courage to move, I press a kiss to the top of the casket, and let Lexi and Ringo help me to my feet.
My whole body is trembling as they guide me off to the side, before Ringo clears his throat and steps up to speak.
“Thank you for coming today, and for the childhood gifts little Bobbi can keep with her always. Once the casket has been lowered, please step forward and place your gifts in the chest,” Ringo gestures to a small toy chest that will be buried at the foot of Bobbi’s casket, “and roses may be laid around the grave.”
Through my tear-filled eyes, I watch my friends from Fox Pines step forward first. Marcus, Jared, Dee, Simon, Shaun, Garrett, Rhys and Tyler. They place books, a teddy, rattles and more in the toy chest, before coming to me and each pulling me into a hug I’ll carry in my heart forever.
Lexi and Ayden go next, placing a pair of ballet shoes and a small ukulele in the chest.
The Doxies gift colourful kids jewellery, trinkets, and even a Cinderella dress-up costume. And the Southern Sadists place books, dolls, and even some Legos inside the chest.
Ringo’s mum and sisters have so many gifts, I lose track. And Smitty steps up to the chest, unfolding a small piece of leather to reveal a mini biker jacket, turning it to show me the back with the Southern Sadists logo on it, and on the front, the patch says,‘Little Princess Bobbi’.
It’s overwhelming, and unexpected, and I don’t think Smitty will ever truly know how much that means to me.
Jols steps up next, placing a motorbike helmet inside, and JD places a game of Twister in it.
All the gifts are truly wonderful, and I hate that little Bobbi never got to enjoy them.
Once everyone has stepped back, talking quietly amongst themselves, Ringo gives me a little squeeze, pulling my focus back to him.
“Will you come with me while I give Bobbi my gifts?”
My browslift in surprise. I hadn’t expected him to have gifts, and I wonder how he even found the time. But then again, I’ve been distracted a lot since we started planning for today, so it’s possible he managed to arrange something while I wasn’t looking.
I nod, and he holds me close as we slowly approach the toy chest, now practically overflowing.
“I bet she would have loved every single thing inside there,” I whisper, and Ringo nods.
“Yeah, she would have.” He clears his throat, reaching out to JD, who hands him a small paper bag. “I have three things for Bobbi.”
Reaching into the bag, he pulls out a small picture frame and turns it to show me a picture of us on our wedding day. I’m on his lap, and we’re both laughing and looking at each other, my hand resting against the ivory satin stretched over the swell of my stomach… over Bobbi.
“Oh… my…” The words catch in my throat as tears come again, the sight so beautiful and so heartbreaking all at once.
“I want her to always have a picture of the three of us,” Ringo’s small smile is warm as he locks eyes with me, “on a day we all felt safe and happy.”
“Cam,” I sob. “This is… so beautiful. Thank you.”
Reaching up, he cups my cheek, his thumb brushing over my damp skin.
“There’s another one upstairs in our bedroom for you.”
In an instant, my arms are around him, and he presses a kiss to my hair as he bends us and places the picture in the chest.
“You’ll like this next one.”
There’s a lightness to his tone that has me pulling back, and he reaches into the bag, and pulls out a CD, holding it up to show me the cover.
A laugh bubbles out of me as I stare at the cover of One Direction’s Take Me Home album.
