Page 90 of Ruinous Need
His black suit is damp, his face smeared with red, his hair curling at the edges.
He’s a mess. He limps into the room, looking like he carved his way here with a knife and his bare hands. But he also looks good in a way that makes my chest ache as my eyes search every inch of his body, the tattoos curling along his arms and up his neck.
When his eyes crease at the edges, I forget where I am. I’m not in this cursed church any more.
Everything that Semyon did to me can’t erase this feeling.
I’m home.
I cry his name and launch myself into Viktor’s arms.
“My little screamer.” He smiles as he pulls me close to his chest and strokes my cheek. “Living up to your name with that one.”
He’s alive.
Viktor’s living, breathing, standing, though he walks like he’s been injured.His heart pounds in time with my own.
My hands roam over every inch of his skin, searching for injuries. He hisses when I find a laceration on his arm. “You’re hurt.”
“Most of the blood is not mine. That one…” He winces as I trail my fingers over it again, checking how bad it is. “A bullet skimmed past me. It’s only surface deep.”
I’m not marrying Semyon. I can’t be. Not now that he’s here.
“And did you…? Is he…?”
“Semyon?” He cups my face and his onyx eyes crinkle in a smile that tells me everything I need to know. “He’s dead, Lisette. I’m the Pakhan now.”
My heart soars.
Dead.
I’m… Free. For the first time since I was eighteen. I don’t have this marriage to a monster hanging over me.
I clutch Viktor’s jacket and sob against his chest, noticing how much weight he’s lost in the month he’s been away. He’s still solid and comforting, but now he feels lean.
The bulge of every muscle is noticeable. I wonder where they took him. What he’s been through.
I look up at him, noting the way that his face has new scars on it. It’s still harsh and unforgivingly beautiful, but more human. He’s grown a beard and his hair is longer, almost flopping in his face again. Maybe he was aching for me the way I was aching for him. Maybe we were both changed by that time apart.
He sacrificed a lot to become the Pakhan. He never wanted this. And now he’s done it, for me.
There are so many questions swirling in my mind. I open my mouth to ask, but he speaks first.
“This whole time. I regretted how I treated you, Lisette. I was so scared that I’d lose you that I cut you out of things.”
I try to cling to him, but he pushes me away with his hands on my shoulders. I wait for the stone disappointment to sink in my stomach as he tells me this is over. He’s Pakhan now, which means all of that pressure he didn’t want is on his shoulders.The constricting pressure will mean he can’t love who he wants.
But he cups my face with his calloused hand and takes a deep breath, meeting my eyes with his own so I can see the pain in them and the dark circles above his cheeks.
“I owe you more than an apology, Lisette. I was stupid. I didn’t even try to love you. I didn’t think I could. I was frozen, terrified, because I thought you could never love me back. Not someone who’s done the things I’ve done.”
“I did. I… Do love you.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.
Again. I’m baring my bloody heart to him and he’s looking at me with such pain in his eyes that I simply can’t predict what he’s going to do.
If he chooses someone else… At least he’s alive. I can console myself with that, even if he’s about to stomp on my heart underfoot and grind it into a bloody pulp.
At least he’s holding me, his arms tight around me. I let myself believe it. That he’s not going to let me go. That he came back for me.
