Page 75 of Rocky Mountain Devil
But if he and Laurel ended up making a go of it—and his brain was still adjusting to thinking beyond simply dating—this man would be involved in his life in some capacity.
Rafe didn’t want to place walls between them. He also didn’t want to invite in a lot of judgment or, well,preaching. Which was probably a bad thing to expect to avoid when conversing with a man who made his living as a preacher.
Fifteen minutes later it appeared Pastor Dave didn’t have much of an agenda other than thoroughly enjoying his visit with the newborn lambs.
“There’s something inspiring about birth and the changing seasons.” Pastor Dave leaned his elbows on the low gate as he checked out a pen that held an ewe with two tiny lambs, barely hours old. “You’ve got a pretty good job, getting to experience this firsthand.”
“It’s great at ten in the morning, and four in the afternoon. It’s a little less exciting when it’s dark and cold and you’re not heading for shelter or supper for another couple hours.”
“I can see that.” Pastor Dave smiled. “I get to work more civilized hours, and usually indoors.”
He asked a few more questions, mostly about what Rafe had on his plate for the next while, never once veering into territory that made Rafe uncomfortable.
Which was uncomfortable in a whole different way.
He hadn’t planned on it, but it seemed the most natural thing to raise a few questions of his own. Laurel loved her family. It would be good to be forewarned if there were changes on the horizon.
“How long are you planning on staying in Rocky?” Rafe asked, jerking to a halt as he realized the question came out wrong. “I mean, don’t most pastors move around a lot? You and Mrs. Sitko have been around Rocky for a lot of years.”
“Depends on the church,” Pastor Dave said. “Some like their pastors to move often, but in Rocky we’ve got a community that has roots that go deep. It’s better to keep a man here that knows the people, and cares for them.”
“Makes sense.” Rafe cleared his throat. “And I wasn’t asking because I hoped you’d leave, or anything. I just know Laurel likes having you around.”
Implyinghedidn’t? Man, he was on track to win all the awards for making a fool of himself.
Fortunately, the other man smiled. “We plan on being around for a long time. Rocky Mountain House is our home, and the people here are in our hearts. Including you, and your mom, and the whole lot of your family, if you want to know the truth.”
Rafe chuckled. “That’s a pretty big list. Just saying.”
“I’ve got a big heart. Just saying.” Pastor Dave leaned a shoulder against the outer pen wall as he looked Rafe over. “You got something on your mind?”
The words burst out before he really thought them through. “You know I’m seeing Laurel.”
The other man nodded.
All his possible follow-up sentences seemed over-the-top rude as he considered them in turn. He wasn’t asking permission. He wasn’t going to stop, so there didn’t seem to be any reason to ask if Pastor Dave had a problem with it.
So he went on a completely different tack, ignoring the fact he was wildly changing the topic back to something safe.
“Well, that’s good you’ll be around. People can get pretty set in their ways after a certain time. Hard to change what comes naturally like that.”
“What comes naturally?” Pastor Dave hesitated. “You’re talking about character. Thewho you arewhen the going gets tough.”
Rafe shrugged. “I suppose.”
“I’d say that’s not set in stone, not even when people get old.” Laurel’s father considered his words carefully. “People make decisions all the time about who they’re going to be, and it doesn’t matter if they’re eight or eighty—people can change. A person can decide he wants to be a man of strong character, but he won’t get there by wanting it to happen. He’ll get there because it’s a part of him through and through. It’s a goal, and more. It’s what he believes in, and more.”
Belief.Damn. This was where Rafe was going to lose any goodwill he’d built up with the man, but the point had to be made. The image of his Uncle Mike flashed to mind. His brother, for that matter. “I know a whole lot of men who don’t go to church who have strong characters I admire, so it’s not just about believing.”
Pastor Dave raised a brow. “I didn’t say that. You don’t have to believe in church, or religion, but you need to have faith in something.”
“…or I’ll fall for anything?”
“No, without faith, a man gets cold inside and dies.”
The words struck with the impact of a sledgehammer. Rafe could picture his father standing before him. Eyes—cold. Soul—brittle.
Pastor Dave went on, seemingly oblivious to the fact Rafe was fighting to stand. “Whatever you believe about how we got here, men need certain things to keep alive. Air, water and food for the physical body. The brain needs challenges. But the heart, oursoul”—he tapped a fist against his chest—“that needs a connection to others, and a reason to go on. That’s the road that gets narrow—picking which path you’ll walk through life, and who you’ll walk with. If you step into bitterness, it’ll coat your boots like cowshit. You can scrape it off, but the odor lingers. Clings to you, even if you look clean and shiny on the outside. And every step you take, you leave traces of shit behind.”
