Page 90 of High Seduction
“But if you don’t trust him not to boss you around when you’re dealing with life, then you don’t trust him. Period. It’s as simple as that.”
“It’s me I don’t trust,” Erin protested.
“Crock of bull, darling. Trust is trust.” Matt pushed his coffee cup away. “Look, I’ve known you for less than a week, but I already picked up something about your personality and your character. I know Tim. Why would you assume that he would want to change anything about the way you are? You’re passionate, exciting, and wicked smart. That doesn’t go away just because you’re on your knees sucking someone’s cock, or you’re getting flogged, or you’re hauling the search-and-rescue team into remote situations, or you’re saving our collective asses from some crazed kidnappers. How could you doubt your strength? You’re a woman any man would be honoured to be with at any time, in any place.”
His words rushed her like a cooling balm, stilling some of her fears for a brief moment before doubt rushed in again. The memory of Tim’s face before he’d left the room that morning was tearing her heart in two.
What if he decided he didn’t want to be with her anymore? That her confusion wasn’t worth it to him? It would be her own damn fault for having stirred the pot now.
But maybe it was better now than letting things go on longer...
Fuck it, she didn’t know which way to turn.
“Thanks for the compliments, Matt. And you’ve helped, really you have. It’s as if I’m on the edge of understanding, but it’s still frightening. I...” She pushed off her chair and paced the room. “Now I get why Tim went for a walk. I’ve got so much energy inside I’m about to explode, and I can’t think straight.”
Matt nodded. “You want a treadmill? Work off a little steam and see if it helps settle your brain?”
Perfect. “You’re brilliant. That would be wonderful.”
He nodded, then surprised her by opening his arms wide and standing motionless. She stepped into his embrace and accepted the comfort of his hug. Nonsexual, just a good friend who wanted the best for her. “You’ll figure it out, you and Tim. I know you will.”
She squeezed him hard before stepping away. “How did you get so smart?”
“Staring into your own death before you turn forty makes you think a lot about your life. The mistakes you’ve made, the people you should have trusted. I meant it—I’ve been where you are, and I would give anything to be able to go back in time and trust more thoroughly.” Matt pulled a face. “I want you and Tim to have the chance that I don’t have anymore.”
Then he set her up on the treadmill, and she lost herself in the mindlessness of physical distraction for an hour.
She would find a way to make this work. Somehow. She had to.
***
It took him until he’d hit the end of the trail to burn off his initialwhat the fuckattitude that had rolled in as he’d listened to Erin’s confession. The second trip around the loop let Tim work through his anger that they’d spent so many wasted years over what still came down, in his opinion, to a bloody misunderstanding.
Though in fact, maybe the years apart were what made it easier to rid himself of his frustration quicker than otherwise possible. He’d already suffered doubt, and embarrassment. Loneliness and regret—all the fucking stages of grief had passed through his life, consuming time and energy to deal with.
It meant his perspective right now was far from what it would have been earlier. He was mature enough to admit that if she’d shared this directly after their incident had happened, he probably wouldn’t have understood. It would have been the end of them.
Now? It was the beginning.
Now he was going to fight for what he wanted, and that meant dealing with what Erin had shared, and not just staying pissed off like a child. Somehow he had to make it clear that while he respected her fears, running away wasn’t an acceptable solution.
He was on his way back to the house when his phone rang. It wasn’t Erin like he’d hoped, though, but his boss.
“Marcus? What’s up?”
Marcus spoke without preamble. “When you stopped by Lifeline yesterday morning, was anything out of place?”
Tim thought quickly. “No. We put away the gear from the chopper, and everything looked normal. Is there a problem?”
He didn’t want to go back yet, not until he’d had a chance to talk to Erin, but if they had to...
“Alarm went off early this morning,” Marcus shared. “By the time the RCMP and I made it down, though, there was no one around. The door had definitely been tampered with. How full was your medical supply cupboard?”
“Not very. I took a lot with me on the call-out, and obviously never restocked yet.”
Marcus sighed. “That’s probably what they were after, and why they left so quick. Okay—not to worry. Just had to touch base.”
“You need us back?” Tim asked.
