Page 71 of Their Knotty Pack
"His name is Gunk!" Kieran calls out, his eyes not leaving his screen.
"Gunk?" Bethany wrinkles her nose.
"Yeah, like that stuff you put on your face every night before bed."
"That's called face wash, you heathen."
"Oh?" Kieran smirks. "I thought it was called cum—ah!"
Kieran yelps as Hunter knocks him upside the head. "What the fuck—"
"Please, Kieran, for the love of all that is good and holy, respect the omegas." Hunter mutters before leaning back on the couch.
Bethany giggles and waits until Hunter is looking away before sticking her tongue out at Kieran.
"Tell me you saw that!" Kieran says in mock outrage, but I only grin as I shrug.
"I must say, I don't know what you're talking about."
"I told you guys to not go over there," I sigh, regretting the fact that I even mentioned the cave down the hill. "I said you weren't ready for it. But did you listen? Nope. After all, I'm just the damnDungeon Master."
"Um…I cast…speak with animals! I want to explain that we mean no harm." Bethany asks in a panicked voice, her eyes wide.
Sighing, I level her with a look. "Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
Brody, Kieran, and Damien all mutter to each other, saying that they hope this works.
It won't.
"You cast speak with animals, but since a dragon is a highly intelligent being, the spell has no effect. 'You fools!’ the dragon roars, shaking the ground with intense force." Summoning my deepest and offended voice, I tell them exactly what the dragon thinks of that. "'How could you mistake me for a mere animal? I am not a lizard! I am a fearsome warrior!'"
The guys exchange a panicked look while Hunter grins from his spot on the couch, snacking on a bag of chips like he's watching a very entertaining movie.
"We're sorry!" Brody quickly says. "We didn't mean to offend you, we just…we're new to this land and don't know anything about dragons."
"'Ha!'" I make the dragon bark a laugh. "'You expect me to believe that you…what? Just appeared from a land where there are no dragons? My kind are infinite! We are everywhere! You only insult me with your lies.'"
Damien purses his lips. "I can…perform a ballad in your honor? Would you let us live if I did that?"
"'I cannot be bought, you pitiful creature,' the dragon sneers. 'But…' the dragon cocks its head in thought, 'if you were to compose a ballad, what would it sound like?'"
"Well, it would sound like…um…"
Am I going to make him come up with a ballad? Absolutely.
What can I say? I never claimed to be akindDungeon Master.
"Oh dear dragon," he starts but I click my tongue at him, wagging my finger.
"'You mustsing,two legged beast.'"
Damien looks like he's going to die of mortification, which I'll admit, is a look I've never seen on him before. Regardless, he swallows the lump in his throat.
"Oh dear dragon,"he says in this awkward sing-song voice,"don't go draggin' me to your lair?"The three of them groan, shooting daggers at Damien, even as he continues his horrible semi-song."Cause I'm not sweet, please don't eat…me?"
"That was so fucking bad," Kieran mutters.
