Page 116 of Vicious Behaviors
She lifts her golden-brown eyes to mine and offers a small, tender smile, trying to mask the nerves trembling beneath her calm exterior.
Ever since I met Izzie, she has struck me as an unshakable force. Nothing and no one seems to rattle or intimidate her. And that’s saying something, considering most people can’t stand in my presence without flinching. However, she’s been off balance since we stepped through the mansion doors. Jittery even. And I know it’s because she wants to make a good impression on my family tonight. Maybe it’s foolish of me to believe that, since she could just as easily be off her game because most people here are on the FBI’s watchlist. Still, my heart prefers to believe that her anxiety is due to wanting my family to like her as much as I do. Not that anyone could ever feel for Izzie what I feel for her, no matter how charming she is tonight.
“And what exactly were you talking about?” I ask, shifting my attention to my rebellious sister.
“What do you think?” Stella winks, shameless as ever. “I was introducing your girlfriend to our brother.”
“I hope he’s the only one you introduced her to,” I say, my eyes sliding toward our parents at the front of the room, the warning in my tone impossible to miss.
Stella’s smirk only widens. Leave it to her to use my relationship just to get a rise out of our mother.
Only when I notice the crimson flush creeping up Izzie’s cheeks, and hear Jude and Mina’s soft chuckles, do I realize what I’ve just done.
“See? Told you she was his girlfriend,” Stella crows triumphantly. “And you didn’t believe me.”
That’s when it hits me that my brother and sister must have already talked about my love life before tonight.
Fuck. I’ve barely just formalized things with Izzie, yet Stella is already eager to tell the whole world that I’m in love. How the fuck did she know? Had I been that transparent?
“Don’t be cross with your sister,” Mina says gently, reading the storm in my eyes. “She is just excited that you’ve finally met someone.”
“We both are,” Jude adds, warmth swimming in his hazel eyes. “Come here, little brother,” he says before pulling me into a firm embrace. “I’m really happy for you, Marcello. You deserve some joy in your life.”
For a moment, I hold onto him, my tense muscles loosening against the familiarity of his arms. The boy I used to be—the ten-year-old who lived for his brother’s pride—would’ve soaked this up. Jude was the only one I ever wanted to make proud besides our father.
But that all changed when…
No. Not tonight.
If I even think about the monster inside me, I might risk summoning the bastard to the surface. I can’t allow that to happen. Not tonight.
I shove the thought away, pulling back from the hug, my body stiffening again like a snapped cord. I catch the flicker of hurt swimming in my brother’s eyes, and I can see they all sense the erratic change in my demeanor, too.
“If you’ll excuse us, I promised Izzie I’d grab us a drink.” My voice comes out clipped. Final.
I don’t wait for their response before sliding Izzie’s arm through mine and steering her across the room.
Once we’re far enough, Izzie stops me short, forcing me to face her, and probes, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“That didn’t look like nothing to me,” she counters, searching my face. “You told me once how much you adored and looked up to Jude. That he was the man you wanted to become when you were little. That you wished he lived closer to your family rather than abroad. And yet you acted like he was some stranger you met once on the street just now.”
“I’ll apologize.”
“That’s not what I mean.” Her voice softens, almost pleading. “I just want to understand what’s wrong. Just explain to me why you went so cold all of a sudden.”
That’s easier said than done. How do I explain that I sometimes resent my brother, despite loving him so much? Because of a promise I made to him as a boy, I ended up unleashing the devil inside me just to keep it. How can I possibly put into words that for Jude to keep his life and hold onto his happiness in London, our father forced the crown onto me, chaining me to a life where happiness doesn’t exist? How do I confess that sometimes it hurts just to look at him, even though I’d walk through fire for him? That my need to make him proud is what cost me my soul, along with any hope of a future untainted by blood?
“I promise I’ll apologize to him,” I repeat, this time with genuine sincerity.
“You’re not going to tell me, are you?” She frowns, her gaze flicking over my shoulder, probably toward Jude and Mina still lingering nearby. “Does this have anything to do with—” I silence her with a fingertip against her lips before she can finish.
“Let’s just have a nice night,” I murmur, “without bringing up unpleasant memories.”
Izzie’s eyes search mine, stubborn as ever. I know my promise to apologize to my brother just won’t cut it for her, so I lean down and press a gentle kiss to her mouth, her resolve softening under my touch.
Unfortunately, it also stills a handful of conversations. A ripple of silence spreads around us as people stop just to stare.
