Page 86 of Vicious Behaviors
After we broke her bed sometime last night, we dragged the mattress into her living room and camped out. We ate, made love, laughed, made love again, told childhood stories, and made love more times than I can count.
It’s the closest I’ve ever come to feeling whole. But as dawn fast approaches, I glance at my phone and verify it’s nearly five, the tension crawling back into my chest. This small taste of happiness has come to its inevitable end. Though it pains me, I need to leave and deal with the repercussions of my actions.
My parents will be the first to wonder where I’ve been. Why I missed Sunday lunch. While I can come up with a dozen excuses for that, missing Monday’s workload would be harder to explain.
I shift beneath Izzie, trying not to wake her as I slide out from under her naked body, but she stirs and burrows her head deeper into my chest.
“Don’t go,” she whispers.
“I didn’t know you were awake,” I say, brushing my fingers through her hair again.
She doesn’t answer. Instead, she lifts her head and looks at me, those honey-brown eyes swimming with sadness. “If you go… you won’t come back, will you?”
“No… I won’t.” I frown.
“That’s what I thought.” She tries to smile, but it never reaches her eyes.
She doesn’t ask why I can’t come back. And maybe that’s because she already knows. Lord knows she has her own reasons to stay away from me, too. I doubt the Bureau encourages agents to sleep with the enemy.
“Just stay,” she murmurs. “Five more minutes. Just until I fall asleep again.”
My heart splinters at the soft-spoken request. I press a kiss to the top of her head and wrap my arms around her.
She hugs me just as fiercely, slowly closing her eyes afterward. I lay there longer than she requested, hating the fact that our time together is good and over.
Izzie pretends to sleep as I slowly shift out of her bed and start getting dressed. When I finish, I glance back and frown. Somewhere between putting on my pants and shoes, she turned her back to me, unable, or unwilling, to watch me leave.
Every fiber in me wants to go to her, wrap my arms around her, and kiss her until she forgets her own name. Still, I can’t do that. We gave ourselves this weekend. Pretended we weren’t natural enemies.
However, all good things come to an end. And the sooner I pull the plug on this madness, the better. It’s a kindness, even if she doesn’t see it that way yet.
I rush out the door before weakness catches up with me and head across the street to my apartment. I grab my gym bag and act like it’s just another run-of-the-mill Monday morning. Nothing’s changed.
When I get to the gym, of course, my workout gets tougher. My punches land harder, and the weights feel heavier. On the treadmill, I push myself faster than ever before. Anything to avoid the image of Izzie’s bare back turned to me. I have kissedevery inch of her skin and traced that very same slope with my fingertips, mapping her body into my memory.
As I try to push every recollection of this weekend out of my head, I realize something else. The demon inside me hasn’t surfaced yet. He’s still quiet. Too quiet. He hasn’t stirred all morning, and that silence unnerves me more than his voice ever did.
After my session, I take a quick shower and get dressed to meet Giovanni at the club. But when I arrive, it’s not Gio waiting for me inside—it’s my father, Vincent, along with Dominic.
Vincent rarely visits the club. Not during business hours and definitely not when it’s closed. He prefers to remain in his skyscraper, or as Gio once jokingly referred to it as his high tower, from which he can look down on us mere mortals. There, Vincent handles the Outfit’s legitimate businesses, while Gio and I take to the streets, handling the deals that can’t be done in the light.
“Good morning, Father,” I greet, since no one is in a hurry to say a word.
“Is it?” Vincent replies, arching a brow. “You didn’t come home yesterday.”
Great. He’s pissed that I missed Sunday lunch.
“It couldn’t be avoided,” I reply simply.
Vincent nods, accepting my answer. He probably assumes it was one of those days when the voice takes up too much space in my head, and I need to distance myself from everyone I care about. He’s always understood my reasons and has never judged me for it. However, I know spending quality time with family is his top priority.
I should feel guilty for letting him believe that lie. Still, it’s better than the alternative of me telling him I spent the weekend in bed with the FBI agent sent to put me away.
“Why are you here, boss?” I ask, needing him to shift intoCapo dei Capimode.
It’s easier to deal with him that way. The father in him probes. The boss only wants results.
“You’ll see soon enough,” he says, vague as ever.
