Page 10 of Losing My Siren Luna
The waves crashing into the shore seemed to be beckoning for my return. I wished to return. I wish for the escape.
2 years. Just 2 years, and I will never leave the sea again.
My dread of the next two years is probably showing on my face, and I have to work hard to mask it once again. When I finally feel like I have control of myself, letting the rhythmic waves in the background soothe my dread, it is time. It’s time for my uncle to pass me off to my dreaded fate.
I let my eyes trail over Lachlan only for a second, not lingering on any part of him for any amount of time. He is nothing to me. Nothing. I just need to remain numb until this ceremony is over, then I can retreat back to my room and avoid him as much as possible.
“Dearly beloved. We are all gathered here today for the joining of Alpha Lachlan Stiles, the ruler of the South, to Lady Elelira Lambert of the West. As a result, joining two kingdoms in an alliance through holy matrimony ....”
The officiant drones on, and I keep my eyes unfocused, staring off at the area behind Lachlan, keeping myself numb and uncaring.
None of this matters. This marriage is nothing to him, and it will remain nothing to me. I am no longer the naive girl I was the first time we went through these motions. I know what he thinks of me, and I will not delude myself into thinking there is a hope to change his mind.
I don’t want him to change his mind. I want him to remain uncaring, because that is how I feel. I want him to keep his disgust of me, because I am more disgusted with him. I want to stay away from him as much as he desires to avoid me, and once this ceremony is over, I can resolve myself to do just that.
Once this is over, I will change out of this embellished gown with its diving neckline and clinging fabric into something much more comfortable. I will take a bottle of wine from the reception that I know myhusbandwill barely attend, then retreat to the shore and walk along the stormy sea.
The clouds in the distance might be depressing for others, but I know the calming and soothing effects a good storm has deep under the water’s surface. The beauty of the rolling waves above and the comforting swaying of the currents. It’s like a baby being rocked in its mother’s arms. I loved storms from under the water, and I plan on treasuring the storms above the surface just as much now that I know their true value and beauty.
“Do you, Lachlan Stiles, take Elelira Lambert as your lawfully wedded wife, and the Luna of the Southern pack?”
“I do,” he resounds, squeezing my hands that are numbly resting in his. The determination and passion in his voice broke my daze, and I met his eyes for the first time in this life.
After sliding a ring on my finger, his eyes trailed up to mine. He was not looking at me with disgust or disdain. No. The emotions radiating in his eyes startle me, because there is no malice or anger. They are not the eyes I am familiar with when I remember them from before.
He almost looks….grieved. Hurt and scared, but determined.
Determined for this to be over?
“Elelira Lambert, do you take Lachlan Stiles as your lawfully wedded husband, and as your Alpha, choosing to lead his people beside him, for the good of the pack?”
I blinked out of my trance, looking away from Lachlan and towards the elder officiating the ceremony. His kind eyes and warm smile stings as I consider rejecting this marriage. The numbness was shaken off at the shock of Lachlan’s appearance, much different than before, and the fear of the unexpected weighed heavy on my chest.
Valerina stirs in my mind, her fear matching mine.
Can we do this again? Can we survive the impending future?
We have to. There is no choice. If I say no, what is to become of us? My uncle will take me back with him, and I will face the same ending as I did before, only this time, I will die with the regret of never feeling the water flow over my fins. I’ll never experience the storms in the ocean and the freedom swimming in the vast ocean brings me.
I can’t reject it.
Val whimpers as I start to breathe heavily, trying to find the numbness in me once again. We can do this. We have to.
“Lira,” Lachlan’s voice whispers the familiar and hated nickname he gave me from before.
I hated it when he called me that. I hated the way it panged in my heart as the name left in a sneer from his lips.
He is not sneering now. I can’t detect a hint of malice or hatred from him. Just concern and fear.
Fear of what? Me? What reason would he have to fear me?
I stared down at the ground, closing my eyes as I focused inward, Val helping to pull the numbness back over me. After several seconds, that felt like hours, I reopened my eyes, keeping them unfocused as I stared past the man in front of me, who was still tightly gripping my hands, blankly staring at the wall just past him.
“I do,” I murmured, my voice sounding dead and cold, even to me.
Chapter 4
Lachlan POV
