Page 115 of Losing My Siren Luna
Pain.
I thought after hearing so much from Yasmin about her intimacy with Percy that it would be okay, as long as I was with my mate, but I just need his normal, comforting touch now and he’s not willing to offer it. How can I do that with him later?
No…. It’s just my anxieties, right? Lachlan is probably just busy and came to check on me. He has been so busy, and now with the added stress of visitors from my uncle's pack and….and that woman being back, he is probably just busy.
I keep telling myself this, trying to grasp the numbness again, but my final tether to rationality seems to finally snap. I turn my face into the pillow to scream as my tears started to fall.
~
Lachlan POV
“Mate needs us,”Killian whimpers in my head.
“She didn’t want us,”I snapped at him, not needing his nagging too after dealing with all the shit we had come up today. From chasing down my mate at a brothel to our time together being cut short by unwelcome visitors, I've about reached my limit.
“She needs us,”Killian snarls, annoyed with me for not doing what he wanted. “Want and need are not the same thing.”
I clench my fist, my final shreds of control just seconds from snapping. Dealing with those shitty warriors from Alpha Waynes pack, arranging last minute accommodations and escorts for them, then also dealing with the disgusting woman who I can not believe I ever touched as she squawked non-stop in the infirmary, demanding for me……it’s all made my control wear very, very thin. One little thing is going to make me snap, and I don’t need my fragile mate on the receiving end of that when it happens.
As I walked down the hall towards my office, I saw Cedric as he was walking towards me, probably to go check on my mate. He had a tray with a teapot and two cups, as well a plate filled with finger foods that Lira liked. His face when he notices me changes to a mask of enmity.
“That useless Delta. I told him not to let anyone disturb her,” Cedric growled.
I sent Cherum away from where he was guarding outside our bedroom door to eat, since it’s now dinner time. I thought Lira might prefer me to stay with her. I didn’t know she wouldn’t even be willing to talk to me.
“Did you upset her more than you already have? I don’t know what you did, but I will not have her-”
“I did nothing,” I cut him off, my voice cold and menacing. “It was those men that came that set her off. I had no clue men from her uncle’s pack would be there or I never would have brought her to the docks with me.”
Cedric’s face remained enraged. “She called for me. If you did nothing, why would she call for me and not rely on you?”
“I DON’T KNOW, DAMN IT!” I snapped, punching the wall beside us. My fist cracked the stone as my knuckles busted open and began to bleed. It hurt, but not as much as my pride. I did nothing to earn this treatment from Cedric or my wife!
I took deep, labored breaths as I tried to get control of myself again. “I did nothing to warrant your accusation,” I told him through clenched teeth.
Cedric just stares at me as I work to try to calm down. “She is hurting,”Killian whimpers again in my head, his thoughts letting me know that Lira is again having another attack. I want to go to her, but she would likely still prefer Cedric over me.
“I would never hurt her. I don’t know what exactly happened, but she needs….she needs you.” I take my fist out of the wall and take one more deep breath. “Help her,” I strain myself, feeling Killian’s anxiety grow as he longs to run to our mate, “since she didn’t want help from me.”
With that, I walked past Cedric to hide in my office. Once the door is closed and locked, I finally let myself boil over, shoving everything off my desk in one angry swoop. I pick up a paperweight, one that used to be my father’s, and throw it across the room, breaking the window so the cool night air comes blowing through, the wind’s sea scent helping to clear some of my raw anger as I drop to my chair, wishing I knew how to help my mate.
We were so close. So, so close to finally being fully mated and bound to one another. I can’t feel her like Killian can. I can’t comfort her like the siren knight. I can’t do anything for her, and the hopelessness in that makes me break as I begin to cry, feeling as desolate and helpless as the day she rejected me.
All I want is to love her, but right now, feeling rejected all over again and seeing how little she trusts me, I just don’t know what to do.
~
That filthy dog. I watch him as he storms down the hallway, his hackles raised for whatever reason. He says he didn’t do anything to my princess, but under the circumstances, I don’t know if I believe him.
The ladies of the brothel all had stories of their alpha and his womanizing ways. Every one of them had claimed to have slept with the man at least once. I asked Meldec before sending him away if what those women claimed was true, and he confirmed it. Why Ela wanted to spend time in the place her husband used to frequent because of such vulgar circumstances is beyond me. She acted as if she wasn't bothered by it, but why wouldn't she be? I got jealous, despite myself, seeing mymatetalking to the bartender in such a familiar way. I couldn't help but think about the possibility of the Gamma of this pack spending time in the brothels with his Alpha and Beta.
When Cherum and the guard showed up to the packhouse after I brought Ela back and told me a bit more about the situation at the dock; telling me about a woman returning claiming to be Lacklan’s lover and demanding his help, what am I supposed to think other than he is the reason for my princess’s distress.
He said it himself. If he had known who was waiting for him at the dock, he would not have brought his wife along. There must have been a lover’s spat between him and his former mistress, and with the stress of everything else, it was too much for Elelira.
I hope I’m wrong. I don’t like him, but he does treat his wife well and seems nothing like how the king described him. His stoic face, set in place like he smells an everlasting fart, is annoying as hell. The only time he doesn’t have that angry expression is when he looks at her.
His whole face transforms when she’s in his sight. I thought that things were going well for them, but then today happened and I don’t know what to think.
