Page 125 of Losing My Siren Luna
Elelira POV
My heart is racing listening to Cedric. My father is the Siren King? My mind can’t keep up with everything he is telling me. Not only who my father is, but the fact that my father is the one who gave me this second life. He brought me back from the dead and sent me back in time, but....why? Why do all this for a daughter he never met? A daughter he still chooses not to meet?
I thought this might be some alternate reality and, by some miracle, I was given a chance at happiness. I really, truly prayed it was. If this is the same life over again, then that means…..
That means this is the same Lachlan as before. He is the same.
No. He’s different. He can’t be the same husband I was married to in my first life.
“This doesn’t make sense,” I whispered, resting my head in my hands. “It can’t be. If this is the same life done over again, then why is….why is Lachlan different? It can’t be the same life.”
Cedric grew quiet, causing me to turn to look at his anxious expression. “You and your father aren’t the only ones who kept your memories of your first life. Your husband was key to your coming back, Ela. He has his memories too.”
My gut twists. Val is stunned, not knowing what to say or think. She was so sure; so, so sure that this was not the same man who hurt us in our first life. Hearing that he is not only the same man, but he still has every single memory that has been haunting us since we woke up in this life is crushing.
I feel like we were played. I feel like everyone deceived us. Why did he treat us differently, then? Is it because this time he knew we were his mate and he didn’t want to lose his Luna? He didn’t want to hurt his pack by rejecting me and hurting me like he did the first time?
“No,” I whispered. He said he loved me. I felt like he did. He can’t be that same man who destroyed our bond every day with his betrayals and rejections in my first life.
“I should let him tell you about his part, but I should warn you that he can't-”
“Why?” I asked, cutting off his words.
“Why what?” He furrows his brow.
“Why are you telling me this now?” If he didn’t tell me, I would have just gone on thinking my husband in this life was different than in my first. I would have….I would have mated with him. I would have been stuck in this without knowing the truth.
“Your father agreed that keeping this from you and letting you think this is all different is no longer in your best interest. We thought you might have just died from an accident since he couldn’t find a trace of your body. Those men coming yesterday and your reaction to them made me think that maybe you suffered more than just death in your first life, Ela. I want to know how to help you. Your father is going to come and-”
“My father thought keeping everything from me was beneficial to me? Is that not just some excuse for not taking responsibility for his part in any of this? My mother…” I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes, getting choked up while remembering how much my mom suffered to keep me safe. She never told me much about my real father, just what he was and that she thought him to be a good man. Would a good man have used my mother like that, though, and then abandoned her? Why didn’t he come back to save her? Why did he give me this second chance at life but keep everything from me? He never came to see me once. I still have no clue who my father truly is. Hearing that he is the siren king means nothing to me. I would have been happy with a peasant of a man as my father, as long as he knew about me and wanted me.
This does not make me feel wanted, safe, and I feel like everyone has been playing me for a fool this whole time. I have never felt more alone.
“You want to know what happened to me in my first life? The same thing happened to my mother. But you know what, he should not concern himself with me or my life, death, any of it anymore, and neither should you. Leave!” I stood on my feet and pointed to the door,
Cedric’s eyes went wide, “What? No, Ela. I’m here to help you.”
“You’ve helped enough. I’ve been deceived enough. Leave. I do not wish for my father’s pity or yours. I lived my first life alone. I don’t see why this life should be any different.”
“Ela, please just-”
“OUT!” I screamed, causing Cherum to race inside the room. “GET OUT!” I yelled again.
Cedric made a pained expression, then sighed heavily. “I won’t be far, my princess. Please, let me know when you are ready to talk.”
Cherum holds open the door for him as he solemnly walks out. Cherum’s expression is a mask of shock and confusion. He is looking between us for an explanation, but I don’t offer him one, and neither does Cedric as the door closes behind him.
What explanation can I give? Does he know everything too? Does everyone? Have I just been made a fool of this whole time?
I started to pace the room, my thoughts jumbled up inside my head. I feel like a fool. I feel like everyone intentionally deceived me, trying to pacify their own guilt. My father gave me this second chance but he didn’t think of coming to see me? He sent Cedric instead and told him not to tell me anything?
Why didn’t Lachlan tell me?
That thought hurts the most.
“Maybe he couldn’t, like Cedric,”Val tried to make up an excuse for him.
“He couldn’t or wouldn’t? Was he scared I would leave him again if I knew the truth? Think of our first morning here. He….”I closed my eyes tightly, remembering that horrible morning. “He acted as he did before. I lashed out for the first time against his anger. What if that is the only reason he changed?”
