Page 39 of Losing My Siren Luna
Lachlan POV
I fell asleep watching Lira, mesmerized by everything about her. When my eyes eventually got too tired to stay open any longer, and sleep was heavy on me, that was when Lira started to scream in her sleep.
It was horrifying. Watching her go from peaceful tranquility, her angelic features relaxed and lovely, to seeing her wear a mask of pure terror, her screaming and cries jolting my heart was almost too much for even me. I don’t know how she stayed asleep through it all.
I tried to wake her, worried she would break her jaw from clenching it so hard, or she would hurt herself by scratching at her skin too deeply. She wouldn’t wake, no matter how loudly I called to her or how much I shook her, trying to be careful not to touch her directly.
The last thing I wanted was to touch her and make her even more terrified of me, but when Killian suggested doing just that, I had no other option.
He came forward, as I didn’t trust myself not to scare her if she woke. When he pulled her against us, wrapping our arms around her slim frame, trapping her thrashing legs between ours, she started to settle down, and within minutes was back in a deep, restful sleep.
Every time we stopped touching her skin directly, she would start to get restless again, whimpering and crying in her sleep. It shattered my heart, seeing her so broken in her most vulnerable state.
I couldn’t stop wondering if I was the one that did that to her.
Killian still suspects her condition is from another trauma, but he can’t argue that my betrayal might have had something to do with her restless sleep. She would have felt it and had to endure every night I was with another woman, keeping that pain all to herself.
We felt it. We felt what betrayal could do to a person’s sanity. I wanted to end myself so many times, feeling it endlessly for long periods of time, in the time before she died, and I felt our bond severed for good.
The betrayal pain could never compare to the pain of feeling her soul permanently detach and forever leave mine, but it was still unimaginable.
“She thought last night would be the first night we betrayed her. She kept telling me to go to myguest. Maybe she was reliving that night from our first life all over again,”I tell Killian.
“No, that sounded like she was reliving being physically harmed. She wasn’t holding her chest where the betrayal burns the worst. She was tearing at her skin, like she was trying to fight someone off.”
The thought of her fighting anyone off makes me sick and homicidal.
“Do you think it was her uncle?”I growled.
“He kept assuring us she was pure, though. Then she swam off after she rejected us. When would he have hurt her like that?”Killian says, thinking about the possibility and probability that her uncle could have been the one to hurt her.
The weight of what kind of attack she must have endured sits heavy on my chest.
She panicked at a kiss, and then the way her body moved around as she was having her nightmare…..
“Do you think she…..”
“Was raped?”Killian finished my thought, “I think it is a strong possibility.”
A growl, so fierce and deep, vibrates my entire body and echoes down the empty halls. Who would dare harm her? Who would harm my wife, the embodiment of grace and innocence, like that? Did it happen when I was neglecting her? Did it happen right under my nose, when I was so obsessed with avoiding her to resist giving into temptation? Did someone else take advantage of my mistreatment of my wife and abuse her here? If not, when else could it have happened?
“It could still be something else. Some other trauma. We do not know how she died yet. She could be reliving her death. I did just happen yesterday, or the day before yesterday for her.”
He’s right. A traumatic death could have the same effect.
“I wish we could just ask her,”I groaned.
The contract with her father prevents us from revealing our knowledge of anything from our first life, though. I can't ask her for specifics like that.
I wonder if her father knows?....
My thoughts about this matter and how to approach it will have to be put on hold for now. The training grounds are just ahead, and with the sun just beginning to light the sky, the elite warriors and all my commanders will be here soon to begin drills.
I pass an omega who works in the kitchen as she leaves the warrior’s barracks, clearly after spending the night with one of my men. I stopped her to order tea and a light snack to be brought to Lira in her chambers. I know she said she wasn’t hungry, but I also noticed how little she ate at our reception yesterday. I spent most of the night holding her slim frame in my arms.
She needs to eat.
I want her to be healthy and happy. Happiness may take me a little bit to figure out, but I can start on getting her healthy now. I need to direct Niomi into ensuring Lira eats plentiful and filling meals, and snacks frequently in between when she can.
