Page 79 of Losing My Siren Luna
I huffed out a laugh in the back of my throat, not sure how to respond. I’m not sure if we are on friendlier terms or if the bond and my lycan are just that much of an influence on me now.
I’m scared. I’m scared because I clung to hope for so long in my first life that things could be better if I could just get a moment alone with Lachlan to tell him we were mates. I think keeping my heart open and holding onto hope is what hurt my bond more in my first life. Building that wall around myself helped to numb the bond and helped everything Lachlan did to not hurt me as sharply. Now that the bond is open, and Val is insisting that I keep my heart and mind open too, I’m scared that I will just hurt more later.
“Are you not?” Cedric asks, flinging one of his arms around my shoulder, pulling me to his side. Val growls, but I think it’s more of a friendly gesture from Cedric. It feels almost brotherly and makes me feel a bit less worried that I could go back to suffering alone.
“I’m not sure,” I told him honestly. “We’ve been married for not even two days. I feel like I don’t even know him.”
It’s true enough. This Lachlan is nothing like the Lachlan I know from before. Tea today and then how he acted at dinner proved it.
Cedric scoffs, “I think you know him well enough.”
“Why do you say that?” I asked, tilting my face up to study him.
“Oh, just because,” he grins crookedly, “What more is there to know? He’s your typical primitive alpha dog.”
“Hey,” I frowned at Cedric when Val growled at the insult in my head. “I’m half primitive dog too.”
“You are far from primitive or a dog, princess,” he chuckles.
“None of the people here are. You shouldn’t talk that way when you are a guest in this castle.”
He offers me a guilty smile. “You are right. Forgive my rudeness, my princess.”
“I’ll forgive you if you tell me more about my father,” I covertly changed the topic to the subject I wanted to talk about.
He chuckles, not a fool at my intentions. He sighs, looks back to make sure we were out of earshot of my guards, then looks out to the sea. “Your father is a strong and powerful siren. That is why he can’t come to retrieve or reveal himself to you yet. Many enemies would use you to hurt him. Some in quite horrendous ways. I know he left you to yourhusbandbecause he believed the Alpha, along with your ignorance of your father, was the safest option to keep you hidden from his enemies until you gained your fins.”
“Just like what our mate said,”Val says smugly in our mind.
I internally rolled my eyes at her and continued asking my questions. “When did he learn about me? How did he know I was his daughter?” If he'd never met me, I don’t see how he could have confirmed who I was, and I’m questioning how he even learned of my existence.”
“Hmm. I know it was not long ago. I’m not sure of all the details. Your father is a private person. I merely do what I’m told, only getting the information he offers me. I do know he would have come from you sooner had he known about you. He would probably have taken your mother from your previous pack, along with you, if he learned of your existence when she was alive.”
“Why do you think that?” I looked up at him confused. Did he care for my mother? I know she was forced to entertain visiting delegates and dignitaries from visiting kingdoms at times, she was forced to do worse often too, but none were ever mentioned specifically. She didn’t even tell me about my siren lineage until Val came to me when I was going through puberty. I think she was trying to shield me from any knowledge of my true father. Whenever the topic came up, she would just urge me to keep my siren identity hidden. She said once I turned 20, I could escape to the sea and finally be free of the cruelty on land, something she sadly wished she could do too.
“Because I just know.” That’s all he said, as if it was as simple an answer as that.
“Thanks for elaborating,” I snorted.
“You’re very welcome,” he grinned cheekily, making me laugh.
He turns and stares at the sea again, letting out a heavy sigh. I watched his features for a few minutes, and I recognized the same longing on his face that crosses mine whenever I get lost in the majesty of the open water with its dancing waves and glittering surface.
“Do you miss it?” I whispered, breaking him from his trance.
He turns his head slowly, offering me a sad smile. “Nothing compares to the feeling of freedom you get in the briny deep, where even gravity can’t restrict you. A siren out of water is like a bird without wings. You can survive, but you will always long for it, the ability to soar.”
I grinned at him, then we both stared at the sea. He turns us to face it, and I inhale the briny air, imagining it was the salty water entering my gills. The wind blowing my hair back from my face, I can almost pretend it is the currents rushing past as I soar through the water with the dolphins and fish.
I miss it, and really do long to soar once again.
“What do you do when you miss it?” I asked in a hushed whisper.
He chuckles lightly, pulling me closer to his side and gently kissing the top of my head. “I guess we will find out. I’ve never been out of the water for an extended period of time before. I will have to learn to adjust, it seems. I will have to placate myself with brief swims in the bay.”
I smiled sadly, knowing that wouldn't compare to the deep waters in the center of the ocean. “Why don’t we go for a dip tomorrow? I wouldn’t mind a swim.”
“Will your husband approve of you entering the water?”
