Page 89 of Merritt and Her Childhood Crush
A part of me worries this is all wishful thinking. That not addressing this head-onis just a way to keep the fantasy alive a little bit longer. But what I’m really, really good at is not talking. Avoiding. Bottling things up and shutting down when the emotions get too intense.
“Miss me?” Merritt asks, bending for a quick kiss before taking her seat.
I nod, suddenly choked up at the thought of missing her for real if she goes. “Always.”
“I want to be this woman when I grow up,” Jasmine says, nudging Dante. “Did you know she’s the one who picks those giant images in Times Square?”
I glance Merritt’s way.Ididn’t know that.
“Yeah?” Dante asks.
“It’s not a big deal. I just broker the contracts,” Merritt says, and when Jasmine raises one eyebrow slowly, Merritt sighs. “Fine. It’s kind of a big deal. Literally big, I mean. Some of those things are like ten stories high. Pick the wrong campaign image, and you’ve got half a building's worth of a mistake.”
Merritt pulls out her phone, turning it to show us some of the ad campaigns she helped bring to life. Dante and Jasmine seem fascinated and impressed. I am too.
I’m also hit square in the chest with all my fears about not being enough, about Oakley not being enough. I mean, Merritt helps make skyscraper-high ad campaigns. The largest structure on Oakley is four stories because the preservation society has strict building codes.
These images feel like a very literal representation of the two paths set before Merritt. I can see from the glances Dante shoots my way that he sees it too.
Me and Oakley: small life.
New York: big life.
When my phone buzzes, and I see Cassidy calling, I’m relieved. I’ve been making a point to keep my interactions with Cassidy to a minimum now that Merritt is a part of my life. I remember my mom’s tone when I cut out on dinner early, and I do havesomesense, even if I’m rusty at this whole dating thing. But I need a minute away. I need to breathe. And with Cass being pregnant, it’s an easy excuse.
“I should take this,” I tell Merritt, showing her the screen. “Could be baby news.”
“Of course.”
I slip outside, taking a deep breath of warm night air as I answer. “Cass, are you okay? What’s going on?”
“Geez, why does everyone respond that way whenever I call?” Cassidy asks. “I’m fine. Everything is fine.” She sniffs and then sniffs again.
“You don’t sound fine.”
“I mean,physicallyeverything is fine. The baby is still staying put. Do you have a second to talk?”
I look back toward the restaurant, hesitating.
“It will only take a minute. And it has to do with Isabelle,” Cassidy says quickly, laying down the trump card she knows she can always play.
I sigh and drop onto a bench in front of the restaurant. “Fine.”
“Your parents just brought Isabelle by the hospital. We had a nice visit.”
“Okay. I’m glad.”
Cassidy is quiet for a long moment. “Hunter, Izzy told me she’s been spending a lot of time with Merritt. She said you’re on a date right now, actually.”
I’m on instant alert. Cassidy knows a lot of what went on between Merritt and me as kids. Not all, but enough to inspire definite feelings about Mer. Not the good kind.
I haven’t brought up Merritt lately, mostly because Cass and I do a pretty good job of staying out of each other’s personal lives aside from Isabelle. Plus, I figured she’d hear it from the town anyway. Or Frank.
“Yeah, which is why I only have a few minutes. And she’s spent some time with Isabelle. But I wouldn’t say alot. They’re together a few afternoons a week after school. My parents aren’t always available and neither are yours. I have to work,” I remind her.
I’m not trying to make Cassidy feel bad. It’s not like she wants to be on bed rest. But being a full-time single dad while working isn’t the easiest thing in terms of logistics.
“That’s not how Isabelle made it sound.”
