Page 87 of Must Love Bees
Once the lamp was turned off and Nova was tucked in between them, Astrid couldn’t sleep. She watched the possum running back and forth across the skylight while Nova snored peacefully beside her.
“I guess there’s nothing to fear now?” Charlie’s voice was low. “You saved the...night.”
Astrid turned her head on the pillow. He lay on his side, facing her. “I’m glad it was such a simple fix.” She rolled to face him. “You should tell them you love them, Charlie. I know you want to. And I know that it would mean the world to them.”
He frowned. “It would?” He didn’t sound convinced.
“Oh, Charlie.” Was that what he was afraid of? That they didn’t want his love? Or love him in return? “I know that words are hard but... Telling them you love them gives them permission to show you they love you. Especially Halley. I think, sometimes, we forget to tell people how important they are to us. We shouldn’t. Family can be complicated but you can’t give up on them. They’re family.”
He stared at her for a long time. “What if you’re wrong?” He swallowed, his voice thick and gruff. “I’m...” He closed his eyes. “I’m not easy to love.” The last word was tainted with bitterness.
Normally, Astrid didn’t get angry. But, right now, she was angry at whoever had made Charlie believe this. And hurting. Who could look into those eyes and not see the tender soul inside? What hard-hearted person had led him to believehewas the problem? “Yes, you are.” She reached out to smooth the hair from his forehead. “I love you, Charlie.”
Charlie’s eyes opened and his muscles flexed tight.
“And your girls love you, too,” she hurried on. “Trust me.” She managed a smile, then turned onto her back. She’d put her heart out there with no expectation from him. He needed to know he was worthy of loveandwas loved. She loved him—even if he didn’t reciprocate.
HECOULDFEELsunlight on his face but he wasn’t ready to wake up.
Soft hair tickled his nose. An arm draped across his chest. In his dreams, he’d been with Astrid. His arm tightened around her.Astrid?He was still dreaming.
Her sigh had his eyes pop open.
He lay perfectly still. He was still in Nova’s bedroom, in Nova’s bed—but there was no Nova separating him and Astrid.
He wasn’t dreaming. His heart picked up speed as he assessed the situation. Astrid was using his chest for a pillow. She was on her side, so close there was no space between them. Her arm draped across him and her hand had somehow managed to slide beneath his shirt. Her hand was warm against his stomach. Her leg was hooked, her thigh resting atop his. His arm, wrapped around her, rested against bare skin.
His hand moved slowly.Dammit. Her nightgown was twisted up and around her waist. He lifted his hand. It didn’t feel right to touch her when she was sound asleep. He couldn’t do it without her being fully present and wanting his touch.
“Astrid.” His whisper was gruff.
“Hmm?” She stretched into him.
He sucked in a deep breath, acutely aware of every flex and shudder as she stirred against him.
“Astrid,” he hissed again, his hand hovering over her.
She went perfectly still then. “Charlie?”
“Yep.” He concentrated on breathing.
“Nova’s gone?” Slowly, she lifted her head to look at him.
“Yep.”Breathing. Keep breathing. He didn’t look at her. But when she tried to move, his arm tightened. “Sorry.” His arm dropped. As awkward as this was, he liked having Astrid close.
She relaxed against him. “I thought... This is... This is a lot of touching.”
That’s why he was struggling to breathe. So far, panic hadn’t kicked in. His heart was hammering away and his chest felt tight, but it wasn’t panic. “It’s...different.” This was more like anticipation.
She rested her chin in the middle of his chest. “Different bad or different good?” Her eyes searched his.
“Good.” It was enough but it was all he could manage to get out. He ran his hand over her silky hair.
She leaned into his touch and smiled.
Her smile lit a fire inside him. He wanted to kiss her. He’d never wanted anything more in his whole life. And, from the way she was looking at him, she wanted him to kiss her. Until the thundering of footsteps on the stairs had them jumping apart.
“I want to go first, Halley.” Nova’s voice. “It’s my room.”
