Page 11 of Tales of a Deadly Devotion
‘Why canyoube consumed by madness to save her and I can’t?’ I challenged, watching his jaw tense. The slightest flinch as my words struck their mark.
There was nothing but darkness in his eyes and I knew he wasn’t protesting for me. He was protecting Kat, even now. Protecting her from seeing me in pain, even if she wasn’t here. He might care for her, but she was my family. All I had. All I never deserved.
‘I made her a promise.’ My voice broke. I knew he’d understand that if nothing else as I wrenched myself free from his hold.
I wouldn’t leave her. Not like this.
‘If anyone would like to inform me of what the fuck is going on, I’d be most grateful.’ Gideon came to a stop on the other side of the desk. Looking down at the mess I’d made with accusation.
I ignored him. Letting Kat’s healing blade slice my palm in one swift motion, blood pooling quickly. Focusing on the familiar sting as I brought the vial to my lips. Biting down on the seal, cracking it and spitting out the cork. Ignoring the sour grimy taste the poison left on my tongue.
‘Are you mad ?!’ Gideon surged forward. ‘That could be the last—’
Emrys caught his arm with impossible speed, stopping the protest as I let the crumbs of the scales fall into my bloody palm. Curling my fingers into a fist.
Blood slid between my knuckles with horrid familiarity.
Heathen bitch, Daunton had spat during his torment. His favourite insult for me. I almost smiled bitterly at the truth of it. Just how unholy I was.
‘Emrys!’ Gideon barked, knowing what was about to happen, but it was too late. I’d destroy all that was left of that beast and I’d do it for her.
One.
Two.
Three.
I let the count calm me. Listening to the fire crack, the drip of the blood and the thrum of my heart. The gritty texture of the remains against my skin. How a biting chill had begun to spread up my arm.
Find it,came a hiss in my ear. The painful phantom press of fingers against my flesh, twisting into my hair. The reek of old blood and rusted chains.Find it, little rat.
I shook my head, flinching from the memory of the Keeper.
I tried to feel it. Tried to remember the story Kat had told about the ravhorn. Remember the calm wonder in her voice. How desperately I needed to hear it again. Hear her. Make her real once more. So I could find my way back to this form.
My breath suddenly pained. Throat too tight, a sharpness there as if lined with ridges and scales. How my fear manifested to choke me, forcing me to submit to it.
There isn’t a form I wouldn’t find you in, Alma,Kat’s words like a ghostly brush of breath against the shell of my ear. A promise. A tether to always bring me back.
Then breath slipped between my lips.
I could smell damp soil, old musty earth. Hear the drips of water falling from stone, the endless cold that seeped deep into my bones, burying itself right to the marrow.
I imagined the sharpness of those dark scales, felt them ripple painfully beneath my skin. Each like the jagged slice of a knife. Across the tops of my shoulders, the dampness of the blood that would soak my skin. Heard a sound of alarm from behind me but it was too distant. Too far for me to care as I forced the sensation of the pain down my spine and to my arm where those scales met the blood in my palm. Where they could take my offering.
My breath caught, I screwed my eyes tighter, my palm burning. Fingers trembling as I felt the sweat bead on my forehead. I gripped onto the desk with my other hand, a horrid sound tearing up my throat. My nailbeds split, fresh claws digging into wood.
Old wounds opening on my forearms and down my thighs. Skin slick with blood.
‘Emrys!’ Gideon ordered almost desperately.
The pain almost made me let go, my very bones seared with the intensity of it, trying to crack and change. Warm tears sliding down my cheeks, breath rattling in my throat. I didn’t open my eyes. Wouldn’t. Wouldn’t give in.
Useless rat. How easily I’d made those words true.
No.
I’d done it before. Performed for food, for their pleasure, for their cruelty to stop. I’d done it for them so I could do it for her.
