Page 23 of My Cowboy Kiss
I find that other way once he pulls up in front of my building to let me out. I climb from the truck, then spin and toss the card onto the seat before slamming the door with satisfaction.
My hand is on the handle of the office door when River catches me. He pulls me close and kisses me so thoroughly that my knees get wobbly.
Then he steps back looking cool and calm while I’m still reeling. “I said I’ll do it. I’ll see you later.”
His truck is pulling away from the curb before I realize my card is in my hand.
I step into the office and catch Stacy turning away from the window.
“I don’t know how you managed to snag him,” she says with a smile, but it’s coated with jealousy.
There’s so much I could say but I don’t want to have a conversation with her. I murmur something and breeze past her to my desk.
It’s freezing in here. Someone else must have turned the air lower because Allison keeps it strictly regulated to a low roasting level.
I put on my jacket and tuck my hands into the pockets. Something crinkles under my fingers, and I pull out the paper, then wish I hadn’t. It’s a note I’d written months ago where I’d tallied how long it’ll take me to pay off the money my uncle stole from River’s family.
Unless I get a second job, I’m looking at a lot of years down the road. But it’s the right thing to do.
You think you deserve a better life than what I gave you? Well, you don’t. You’re just like me. Ain’t nobody gonna stick around and love you.
When my mother’s words pop into my head, I ball my hand into a fist, squeezing hard. My fingernails bite into my palms.
If our relationship progresses, will River stay for the long haul? Or will he grow weary and learn how hard I am to love?
With my family having an addiction gene and thieving tendences, being with me could end up hurting him.
But I can’t tell him that I don’t want to see him again. First, that would be a lie. Second, I hate movies where one character says they can’t be with the other “for their own good.”
To me, that’s the height of trying to control the other person. So why don’t I come clean to River about my connection with my uncle?
Because I’m a coward.
I confronted the truth when I was a child and learned that speaking up can bring consequences. Painful ones.
I had told my mother I wanted to know who my father was so I could go live with him instead of her.
“That bastard don’t want you.” She’d spat the words out harshly. “If you go looking for him, you’ll be sorry.”
I know I have trust issues. I don’t trust love. But Idotrust River and what happened between us wasn’t a mistake.
My heart starts beating faster. No, it wasn’t at all. It was perfect because of who he is. I bite down on my lower lip. Butwhat will happen when River finds out who my uncle is? What if he thinksI’ma mistake?
River
Marshall is on the front porch sipping from a mug when I pull up. He studies me, then says, “You spent the night out?”
I nod and head inside to get coffee to take with me.
He follows me in. “Courtney? I figured as much,” he says, not waiting for confirmation. “Everyone and their brother knows how you feel about her.”
A black kitten darts out of the mud room to fling himself at my pants, sinking his claws in as he starts to climb my leg.
“What’s the problem, Captain Claws?” I rub behind his ears.
“He’s new. Where’d that one come from?”
“Brought him in last week,” I say as the kitten bumps his head beneath my chin and purrs loudly.
