Page 3 of Fragile Facade
Then I blink.Not because of Remi and Selena. Because I’m selfish enough to live longer to prove I can outsmart Death—outsmart Riot. That’smynew deal.
I fade out when he doesn’t pull me up right away. He grins at me again, my vision disappearing until my eyes stop seeing but stay open, and I drown in the pond out on Carnival Hill. A fitting place to die. Probably more bodies in here than water.
It’s not as peaceful as I thought it’d be.I can’t feel the one or two second precipice.
But here I am. Dead. Smiling. Trying to laugh.
“Not today, sweetheart.”
I gasp and throw up, looking into the eyes of the hound I’ve goaded into joining me on this trip to defy my finality. I have no control of my body, but he does. Riot holds me up, sitting in the pond, smiling at me like I didn’t just die for a few seconds. “Call me that again…” It’s hard to snarl while half alive, but I manage.
“Guess what this makes me?” he asks while I cough. Grabbing my throat and tilting my useless head up to look me in the eye, he says, “Your God.” He squeezes so hard I feel my windpipe bend.
When he lets go, pushing me back down, he makes sure my upper body is on the shore. Then he leaves me out here in the middle of the woods on Devil’s Night to think about my new reality.
I blinked. I made the deal.
Finally, my laugh comes back. Because it’s going to be so fucking fun dragging him to Hell with me.
2
REST IN PARALYSIS
GHOST
Halloween in Morosisn’t something to be taken lightly. A holiday that signifies the end of life in the form of summer and the start of death in the form of winter, bringing Pagan, Gaelic, and Celtic believers to our small town. Dressed in traditional costumes from the roots of Samhain, crowns made of sticks and branches, wispy robes and long willowy dresses fill the streets, heading to the cemetery for the celebrations.
Samhain. The signifying switch in seasons that leads us into the ‘dark half’ of the year. I’m a believer. I feel the darkness creeping in, but I’m not resisting its pull. I’m embracing it, letting it consume me, inviting it to fill me even more. Because I’m someone who is affected by the seasons, the weather, and old beliefs.
“What’s wrong with you?” Krypt asks, handing me his joint. “The weather?”
I’m fucking humming on the inside. Agitated and alive, but unsure how the combination is going to snap. The rain breathes something into my bones, making me cold and dangerous, but the thunder and lightning amplify the feeling, creating an electric buzz in every cell of my body. I feel the switch in the season, the life of summer fading after harvest, ready to welcome the death of winter and the darkness of the days. The combination of Samhain, as well as the busy streets of Moros, brimming with costumes ranging from slutty get-ups to traditional Pagan, has me on edge. In a good way. Alive and dark about it. Sinister blended with gleeful.
I take the joint and inhale the taste of weed, letting it out through shaky lips. I ignore his question because there’s nothing wrong with me and fuck him for asking. “Where’s Remi?”
Krypt looks across the street. We’re sitting on the roof of The Midnight Diner with an unobstructed view through the windows of The Ambient Raven, but I don’t see my brother through the glass. Dusk makes the interior lights of all the shops turn on, aiding the streetlights and decorations in turning our main street, Death Row, as ominous as the night will be.
Then I see Remi coming from the back of the shop to the front counter. He hesitates by his cello, touching it fondly but refusing to take it off the stand. My heart recognizes his pain, but I don’t hurt for him. I recognize his turmoil, knowing he wants to play, but also knowing it hurts him to play alone. I haven’t played music with my brother since before I left The Ambient Raven to initiate for The Misfits. I long for it, but I fear it, too. Afraid that the combination of our sorrow, blending through notes and stringed instruments, will be too much for me to bear. I’m already jigsawed and shattered, barely glued together, and if we play together, I’ll turn to dust and finally meet the death I’ve been toying with for years.
Because music is a way to speak without having to confess aloud.
“You miss it?” Krypt asks, nodding at the shop.
Yeah, I miss it, but he doesn’t deserve to know that. I miss the energy of the family business and spending time with my brother. But I’m not built for all that. I’m made to create music, not talk about it with the public. Remi is more suited to the business, and Cain is the piece that brings the place to completion. Not me. As much as that irks me to admit. So, I don’t admit it. I ignore Krypt’s second question and move on.
I take another hit, handing it back to Krypt while we both spy on my brother. I hate that they’re together, but I don’t hate all of it. Krypt is a terrible person with no sense of boundaries, but who am I to judge? He’s good for Remi because he refuses to let him die, and that’s about all I could ever ask from someone. I don’t want the responsibility of my brother’s life on my hands, so having Krypt take the burden does me a favour anyway. I’m selfish, but Krypt is possessive, so he works better. Balance, I guess.
“You feel guilty for raping him yet?” I ask, side-eying him as lightning webs across the sky, charging me from the inside out.
Krypt simply glares at me with annoyance, barely a glance, before his eyes snap back to The Ambient Raven. Cain says something to Remi before leaving the shop to head home, where I know someone in a blue mask will be stalking him.
“Don’t let him out of your sight tonight,” I tell Krypt, standing.
“Don’t tell me how to own him.”
“You don’t fucking own him.”
Another glare, all his inner beasts coming to life. I grin at that and leave him on the roof, climbing down the back emergency ladder of The Midnight Diner. The Neon Demon Nightclub isn’t open yet, but later tonight, it’ll be as busy as the cemetery, where the harvest festivals take place. Moros is split on Halloween—half of us ritualistic and the other half all about the party. Some of us are even all about the fun for the kids. But pretty much all of us believe in the horror of it, the spooks and the scares, and the thinned veil between our world and the one we’re heading to after.
