Page 27 of Envious Of Fire
“I think it was … me. What remains of me, deep down, deep in the … the prison of my … m-my soul. A dream I keep there. A dream that I …” His voice begins to close up. “… that I have not told anyone before.” And it’s gone.
Raya gently brings a hand to his cheek.
Her skin is smooth and cold, but not unpleasant.
Kaleb reacts electrically, feeling as if the room has toppled over, delight raging and frothing inside of him. He turns to her.
“Perhaps we are both unable to imagine someone outside of ourselves,” she wonders aloud. “We are both trapped in … in a prison of our souls. I hope I still have a soul. I wonder at times if it left me, if I’d even notice. ‘A prison of our souls’ … I’m not sure whether you’re a musician or a poet. Perhaps both.”
“We should practice dreaming beyond what we are,” says Kaleb—then finds himself terrified at what he just dared utter.
But there is no outrage on Raya’s face. In fact, the words have inspired her. “Yes. We should practice such dreaming. Even if I’ll never be director of a domain or Lordess of a region.”
“I think you could be,” says Kaleb sweetly.
Raya peers back at him, pensive. “Play another one for me,” she says, “if you would.” Kaleb picks up the violin and obliges.
5.
The V Word.
—·—
“Like, I dunno, when is it too soon to ask someone out?”
Kyle chuckles. The question comes from Leland. The two are hauling bags of trash from the party to the dumpster behind the bar. “If you’re feeling it …” starts Kyle.
“When did you get the balls to ask Elias out?” Leland takes one of the heavier bags over his shoulder and thrusts it into the dumpster with a grunt of anguish. “Shit, man, I’m outta shape.”
“Is this about Becks?” teases Kyle as he throws his own bag into the dumpster—with such incredible ease that Leland gives him a baffled look.
Then he straightens up. “Is it that obvious?”
“More than,” laughs Kyle. “Everyone knows. Cade’s seen the sparks since Fourth of July. Something about how you kept eyeing Becks over your plate of barbecue you barely touched.”
“Wow, I forgot about that party. Burned the fuck outta my hand like an amateur, flipping a burger.” Leland rubs his sweaty head of hair, wrinkling up his sleepy face. “Didn’t realize it was so obvious. Did you notice back then, too?”
“I wasn’t there.”
“Why not?”
“Party was in the afternoon.”
It’s slow to dawn on Leland. “Oh, right, because … right.” He lets out a flustered laugh that dances around his throat like a bird caught in a tight place. “Shoot, we should hold all of our parties at night. They’re more fun. Sun’s too hot, anyway. Hey,you haven’t been here more than six or so months, right? You haven’t even seen it snow yet.”
Kyle shuts the lid of the dumpster. “Can’t imagine a single flake of snow dropping in a place like this.”
“Well, they do. I mean, it isn’t Canada, but it snows. Did I ever tell you that’s where I’m from? Well, my parents, at least. I was born here. Not that you asked for my life story. Just, seeing as you’re opening up so much more to us now …”
Kyle can feel Leland’s emotions flying around wildly. He throws him a smile and puts him at ease. “I appreciate anytime you open up to me. I like learning more about my friends.”
“Friends? Yeah, of course, we’re friends.” Leland lets out another strained laugh. “I’m too damned insecure about Becks suddenly. Did you know I went a straight three months before I realized Becks was short for Rebecca? My dumb ass thought her name was literally Becks. If only I knew whether she—”
Something crashes loudly at the end of the alley.
Kyle turns at once.
Nothing is there.
