Page 56 of Jump-Start
“Of course I bloody care, Chiara! Do not tell me you are so blinded by our past that you cannot see what’s happening in our present.”
You’re becoming my favourite person in the world. You’re becoming the breath in my lungs, the beat of my heart, the essence of my existence. You’re becoming the first woman I’ve ever felt this way about, and I don’t have the strength to keep pushing you away anymore.
“And what the hell is happening in our present, huh?” she challenges, but we’re interrupted by Bernie approaching us.
“I need to take your temperature again,” he says to Chiara, who gives him a small nod. He places the thermometer under her tongue, but I keep her burning body against mine, cupping water into my hands and emptying them over her shoulders and neck. She melts against my chest.
The thermometer starts beeping once it’s done measuring her temperature, and Bernie informs us it has already dropped a little. He also hands me a bottle of water and tells me to make sure she drinks it. Then, he gives me a rundown of the antibiotics Chiara has to take for the next week and when I’m supposed to give her more ibuprofen. Apparently, she got herself sick with the flu. I shake my head and let out a frustrated sigh. I understand that she doesn’t want to admit she’s not feeling well because it would make her seem vulnerable. I get it, but keeping her mouth shut about how horrible she was feeling is by far one of the worst things she could have done.
“This is why you shouldn’t kiss random people, Chiara,” I blurt out after a moment of silence between us. She lets out a strangled laugh.
“You think Dino made me sick?” The image of them kissing reappears in my head, sending a wave of heat and anger through me.
“Yes,” I grind out, and she tilts her head so her green eyes meet my brown ones.
“Should have kissed me first instead of walking away then,” she manages to get out before exhaustion forces her to collapse into me and her eyes to flutter shut.
We stay in the tub for a while longer. I measure her temperature right before I decide it’s dropped enough to get out and dry us off. Chiara holds onto me as I run the towel over her body. Her panties and bra are soaked, but I don’t think she’s comfortable with me helping her out of them, so I don’t ask if she wants me to remove them. I wrap the towel around her once I’m done, leading her back to the private room where Quinn put the fresh clothes I asked for earlier. It’s time Starling and I got back to the hotel. She needs to rest, and I need to know she’s comfortable in a bed.
“I’m sorry,” she says when I sit her down on the couch and make my way over to the pile of clothes.
“Sorry for what, little demon?” I ask, hating the way her voice cracked. She’s in pain. I know she is. I can feel it, and it hurts worse than if I were experiencing it myself.
“I’m sick. It’s an inconvenience. I’m here to look after Benz, to make your life easier, not harder.”
Tears fill her eyes, but she blinks them away quickly. My heart shatters into a million pieces when she wraps her arms around herself and stares at the ground. Her apology shows how sick she is. That and the way she had to fight back tears. Chiara is a strong person, a resilient woman who has more strength than anyone else I’ve ever met. Being sick goes against everything she is. It weakens her, stops her from working, prevents her from being stubborn because she knows she has to slow down, and it sets her up for vulnerability. Those are all things she hates, I know because I’m the same. I hate being vulnerable. It’s the reason I’ve never seriously dated anyone. I hate slowing down because I have a million things on my schedule and no time to be sick. I hate when my body weakens my mind by clouding it. She might not want to believe how similar we are, but there is no denying it.
Chiara and I are two halves of one stubborn soul.
“You are not an inconvenience,” I say and cup her face. Her eyes are bloodshot and barely open. “You’re a pain in the arse, but not because you’re sick,” I tease, and she lets out a harsh snort. I grab her chin, forcing her to focus on me completely. “You can make my life as hard as you would like, sweetheart, because you’re the one who makes it worth living.”
Holy shit. Shut the fuck up, Leonard. Back away. This is dangerous territory. She doesn’t even like you,at least that’s what she keeps saying. She might be attracted to me, but she hasn’t said once that she likes me.
“You say that, yet, you keep pushing me away. Dragging me close, then pushing me away. I’d start believing your words a hell of a lot more if they had any root in your actions.” I drop my hand from her chin, my gaze fixated on her.
“What difference would it make, Starling?” She’d still distrust me when it comes to her heart, and I can’t even fucking blame her.
“It would make the difference between the meteorite passing by the Earth and hitting it,” she says, and I freeze in place for a moment, unable to even breathe.
Then, her eyes close from exhaustion, and I realise I’m making this situation so much worse. I pick up the clothes again, and Chiara tells me to turn around so she can take off her wet underwear. I do as I’m told, listening with a bleeding heart when she whimpers a little. The urge to turn around and help her is overwhelming, but I wait until she mumbles an ‘okay’. I help her off the couch, and Chiara holds onto my hand the entire walk to the car. Benz is right beside me, her leash in my hand even though she listens so well, I know she doesn’t need it. This is merely for safety reasons.
“Leonard?” Chiara says as I open the backseat for Benz to jump inside. Panic immediately floods my chest at the fear in her voice.
“What’s wrong?” I ask and take her arms in case she feels dizzy.
“I don’t feel well,” she says and places her fingers on my forearms. “I might faint again,” she says, which only makes me panic more.
“Alright, I’ve got you, okay? Let’s get you in the car,” I say, and she nods, following me toward the rental. Chiara has been a fainter from excessive pain ever since I’ve known her. I’ve witnessed her pass out from period cramps, breaking her leg, and even overexertion. It’s not new, but it’s terrifying nonetheless.
Luckily, we make it all the way to our hotel room where I help her into bed. Chiara is so tired, she doesn’t even open her eyes as I bring the blanket up to her chin, but she grabs my hand before I can step away and out of the room. She’s asking me to stay without words, and there isn’t a single thing in this world I would deny her. So, I call for Benz to join us in Starling’s room, take off my shoes and shirt, and slide under her covers. I check her temperature with the back of my hand once more and almost sigh when her skin isn’t on fire like earlier. I will have to wake her in a few hours to make sure she drinks a lot of fluids and takes another ibuprofen, but, for now, she needs to sleep, and I need to pray that I won’t get sick before tomorrow or Sunday. I won’t care if I miss a race weekend as long as Chiara feels better, but my team would be pissed at me for being so careless. Then again, I really don’t care.
My little demon is resting now, and I can’t help but inch closer to her and close my eyes too. She’ll be okay.
Me, on the other hand, I won’t be because the woman who is becoming everything to me still doesn’t like me, and I don’t know if she ever will.
CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT
chiara
