Page 52 of Forced Alpha Bride
He doesn’t answer, just gives me a brooding look. There’s so much going on behind his eyes, I feel my anger dying down a bit. I focus on my tea and biscuits instead, my headache fading a little. But my inner war only gets worse.
I want him too much. I can’t think straight. Maybe I should get away from him for my own good. I know my desire could lead me to do something stupid. Then we’d be stuck with each other for life.
If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t like the idea, but I also know if I refuse to consummate our marriage and he loses his position, it’s not like we could just start dating.
Is he a bad guy or not? I just don’t know.
I finish my tea with a little slurp, and Damon gets up.
“We should get ready,” he says. “Dinner will be starting soon, and we’ll have to put on a good show for the other packs. Are you ready?”
No.
“Yeah,” I say, standing up. “I need a shower… and a nice dress.”
“I had one of my guys bring your things from your car. The bags are up in our room.”
“Oh, you guys found my car?”
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “It’s not like it was well-hidden.”
“Oh, okay. Well, thanks.”
“No problem.”
The mood turns awkward as I follow him up the stairs. He goes straight to the bathroom and turns on the water, and a bit of the confidence I felt this morning returns to me. I pull off the black gown and push past him, claiming the warm stream of water for myself. I expect him to back off, but he takes off his clothes and joins me.
Seeing him naked affects me a lot worse than it did before. My body is throbbing again, all the areas he recently stimulated begging for his touch. My body is craving him, and the sensation is intoxicating.
I finally understand how women get themselves into situationships with the wrong guys. I can’t ignore the rush in my veins, the tingles on my skin. I just want to feel that way again.
Damon rubs soap across his chest and shoulders, his ivory skin gleaming as his muscles bulge. Wet, black strands slick down his neck, framing his sharp cheekbones. In the harsh fluorescent light, his eyes look extremely dark, without a hint of the gold brought out by sunlight or flame.
When he leans towards me, I step closer, running my hands across his wide chest. He kisses me, his lips hot and sweet under the flowing water. I feel too exposed, as if allowing him topleasure me without the restraints is too real. Too much like a decision.
And I haven’t chosen… not yet. I don’t know if I’m following my heart or just my desire.
Chapter 16 - Damon
When Winnie starts asking me questions, I just shut down. It’s like there’s a pit of fire in my guts that starts to bubble when she pokes at uncomfortable subjects, and I have to close off if I want to stop it from igniting.
No one’s ever asked me about my past before, and I’ve never talked about it. Between my brothers and me, we knew we’d suffered the same things—loss of family, poverty, being targeted by authority, and finding ourselves with no safe place to live.
We didn’t need to go into details with each other. We just respected each other’s silence.
It doesn’t help that I’m starting to feel extremely nervous about the formal event. One of the reasons I distract Winnie with getting ready is that I’m anxious about looking good for it. The other reason is so I can just stop talking.
I appreciate that she wants to learn more about me. That’s a good sign. But I don’t think I’ll ever let anyone into me that deeply… no matter how close we get.
As I get into the shower with her, I consider the fact that we won’t even get that close. It’s a hard truth to face after seeing her beautiful, wonderful climax only a short time before.
I expect a bit of intimate time with her in the shower, especially when I see her checking me out. But she looks shocked when I get in with her and keeps a distance between us the whole time. It annoys me so much, I get out as soon as I’ve washed and don’t bother to get closer to her.
I have no idea what’s going on here. I keep telling myself that I can keep this relationship platonic, a contractualagreement—even under the rules of consummation—but this woman does things to me. I crave her… I can’t get enough of her. It’s like every second I’m not touching her, part of my soul dies.
As I dry off in the bedroom, I chuckle to myself. I’d often thought there was nothing left of my heart or my soul. I believed both were destroyed a long time ago, so it’s amusing to assume I have them now.
I’ve got a couple of suits laid out on the bed when Winnie comes in. I deliberately ignore her. She goes straight to her bags, and I continue to puzzle over my jackets and slacks as she goes through her own things.
