Page 15 of Starting Over with You
Maybe not always in person, but thank God for phones. Not just to make sure I didn’t miss a thing, but to be able to ignore a call when I knew I couldn’t execute my plan if I gave in to them like I always did.
If Icut off his dick and shoved it down his throatortell him you know and then make him suffer, I wouldn’t be where I am right now. No, I had to bide my time, and while it hurt to live the lie, I know it paid off. Not only will my boys get the money, but I didn’t let Stratford win. No, I ended this marriage on my terms. I took my heart out of it, and I didn’t allow him to have anything. He got the shell of the woman he married and nothing more. I stayed for my boys, and now that they’re off to start their lives, I’m starting mine.
Since the moment I drove away from the boys’ graduation, I have felt raw, like an exposed wound. I can’t believe that she knows about me. That money was enough to keep her. I feel sorry for her,for her children, but most of all, I feel awful for my boys. That they learned from Stratford himself that he had another family.
I did everything in my power to keep that secret from them, not wanting them to have the trauma I went through. A broken home, a mom who left because she didn’t want to be a mom, and living in a small town on a sheriff’s budget. I wanted more for them, and I kept my pain to myself.
But in the end, he was the one to tell them. I want to ask how that made them feel; I want to know if they’ll meet their siblings and the other woman. I wonder if Stratford will marry her now and raise his family. The insecure part of my brain wonders if the boys will like her more than me, but my heart knows the truth. My boys would die for me.
But God forbid I ask them to do the dishes or pick up their hockey shit.
I smile to myself as the last eighteen years of their lives flash through my mind like a movie. Most of my best memories are of the boys; the others are of Sadie and Missy. All my happiest times belong to those four. It wasn’t easy, and I wasn’t the best mother some days. But I showed up, I showed out, and they never had to question if I loved them. I wish I could have given them the perfect family, the long-lasting love that they could always look back on, but if I’m honest with myself, Stratford Robbins was never the man of all my hopes and dreams.
We met young. I was fresh out of high school, a freshman at UW. He was a senior, and I was enamored with him. He was the top of his class, a brilliant engineering major, and he was so damn charismatic. He also made sure to let me know he had money. I came from a small town, where I lived with my sister and my dad above the garage of my grandparents’ house. Not because Dad wanted to, but because he had to. Both my grandparents were ill most of my childhood and died once both Missy and I were away at college. But since Dad was their only child in Thistlebrook, he was their primary caregiver.
My dad was a good dad, but he didn’t know how to be a dad, asheriff,anda son who was losing his parents. He leaned heavily into supporting the community, then his parents, and Missy and I got what was left. I think that’s why we are so close. It’s always been her and me—and Sadie. It sure as hell didn’t do me any favors when I met Stratford. Nope, I was blinded by not only his charisma, but how quickly he dropped money to impress me. The night I slept with him for the first time, he had filled my dorm room with roses.
No one had ever bought me flowers.
Or gotten me pregnant.
But Stratford did both.
I dropped out of college since my pregnancy was high-risk, we married a week after we found out I was having twins, and I had the boys a couple days after he graduated. Since I was busy with the babies, I didn’t go back to school. Instead, I worked my ass off to be the best mom and wife the men in my life could ask for.
Yet he still cheated.
I was so naïve to think I was anything more than the person he got stuck with. I wasn’t enough for him. Everyone loves me more? Well, duh! I’m fucking amazing, and if he’d looked past his jealousy, he could have enjoyed who I was instead of breaking me. That’s his fucking loss, and I don’t want to give that man any more of my energy. He had nineteen years of my life, and I won’t give him another second.
I may be starting over as Kenleigh Colburn, but I’ll always be Flint and Ash’s mom. Damn, I already miss my boys so much. As the song ends, I hit Ash’s contact on my screen, and he answers right away.
“Hey, Mom. You’re in the car with us. We’re driving through?—”
Ash breaks off, and Flint answers, “Pennsylvania. Got about eight more hours.”
My eyes sting with unshed tears at the deep tenor of my boy’s voice. “Awesome, you’re making great time. Will y’all stop?”
“Probably not. Where are you?”
“Entering Knoxville. Traffic is ridiculous.”
“Isn’t it always?” Flint asks, humor in his voice. When we’d drive to see my sister, we’d always get stuck here. “Why did you stay in Indiana? I thought you’d stop in Chicago.”
That was the plan, but I was in deep on my audiobook and didn’t want to stop. Traffic starts to move again, and I exhale. “I drove about six hours before I got too tired.”
“Cool. How much longer?” Ash asks, but before I can answer, Flint does.
“She’ll be there in about an hour.”
“Stalkers,” I laugh, and they both snicker. “Maybe I need to drop from Life360 so you guys don’t know when I’m going buck crazy at the local bar.”
Flint snorts as Ash says, “There is one bar. We know where it is.”
I laugh when Flint adds, “And you better send us all the pictures.”
“And remember, we live in an age when everything is on social media. Send us the photos before Aunt Sadie puts them on Instagram,” Ash pleads, and I grin. “Especially if you ride the bull at the Thirsty Pine.”
“No! Send us a video!” Flint begs, and I can just see his huge grin on his face, his bright-blue eyes, and the dimples he got from me. “Have fun, Mom. You’re going home to reunite with Shenanigans Inc. It’s time to let loose.”
