Page 23 of Starting Over with You
Sadie’s eyes narrow. “I’ll kill him dead.”
Missy waves her off, but even I’m about to promise the same. “No, he loves Skyye—he does—but I think he’s intimidated by Dean.”
“As he should be,” Sadie says simply. “Dean’s the best dude ever.”
Missy doesn’t disagree. “Absolutely, but Nyle always asks me if I have feelings for Dean, and I don’t get it.”
“You had a kid with him,” I remind her. “It’s pretty easy to see why someone would assume y’all have something.”
Missy snorts. “Yeah, we had too many shots and a faulty condom.”
I bark out a laugh as Sadie grimaces. “Out of all the guys in town, you had to get knocked up by my brother.”
I mean, at least she said it.
Missy gives her a look. “Excuse you. I gave you Skyye—you’re fucking welcome.”
True.
Sadie grins. “You’re right, my bad.”
We all giggle as the warm Tennessee air heats my skin. I have missed this place—the sun, the smells of the forest, and the sounds of nature. Wisconsin is stunning, but there is something about the mountains of Tennessee. I tip my face to the sky, loving how the sun peeks through the limbs of trees and the rays warm my face.
When Missy told me that Dean knocked her up, I remember being devastated. It was wildly inappropriate since I was married, but I didn’t want Missy with Dean. It would have been different if it were someone else, just not my sister. I’d thought she was in love with him, but since the beginning, Missy has been up front. She never saw him as more than a friend. Not that it matters. I’m sure he hasn’t even thought about me.
But sometimes I like to imagine what would have happened if we had actually gotten to kiss in the back of that cop car.
I smile to myself, but then my smile falls when the local landscape comes into view. The hills of Tennessee are a sight to behold. There are songs written about how beautiful this place is. From where we stand, which I realized halfway here is one of our favorite outlooks, you can see the three crosses on the side of the mountain where a little old church sits. The trees look like waves tumbling along the mountains, and the air is so crisp.
Hot, but crisp.
Missy opens her bag and pulls out three white plates. I furrow my brows when she hands me one and a marker. She does the same to Sadie, and then she sits down with hers. I follow suit as she explains, “Write down everything you want to let go.”
“Let go?”
Sadie nods, tapping my plate with her marker. “You could write Stratfuck a million times if you like.”
I snort at her as she winks, and then I look down at my plate.
I do write Stratford’s name.
Then I write each year that he had of me, not including any years after I found out about the affair.
I write down the moments I made myself small for him.
The moments he made me cry.
The day I found out he had another family.
I almost write her name and his other children’s, but that feels wrong. While she may have known about me, she’s just as much of a victim as I am.
Then I write down yesterday’s date but make a note not to include the amazing accomplishment of Ash and Flint graduating.
It takes me longer to finish, but when I do, Sadie hands me a clear trash bag for the plate. Together, we stand, and then Missy grins as she jerks her chin to the rock. “Let’s smash it, ladies.”
I take the top of the bag and, with my sisters, bang the plates into the rocks. The pieces shatter, and as I watch them almost turn to dust from how hard I’m slamming the bag, I feel the pieces of my own soul come back together.
Tears flood my eyes as I turn to look out at the view, letting the bag drop from my fingers. I inhale deeply as I gaze into the stunning world before me, everything so lush and perfect, making me feel like I’m standing on top of the world.
