Page 85 of Starting Over with You
He chuckles at that before he sets me with a look that has fire flicking up my spine. “Nah, darlin’. Just a guy with a stache who listens to a guy who sings songs that remind me of you.”
My heart skips a beat since I’m a true fan of Riley Green and love his music. His songs are beautiful, heartbreaking, and knowing I remind Dean of them makes me so glad I came here. He pushes off the lawn chair, and his strides are long and true. Just as he is. I step away from the car as he stops before me. His eyes search mine, his body taut as his gaze burns into mine. “I’m glad you’re here.”
I blink. “You are?”
“Yeah,” he says, running his finger and thumb along his mustache, his tell for being nervous. I’m not sure what he is nervous about, but I hate it just the same. “I owe you an apology.”
My brows knock together. “What?”
He looks down at our feet, tucking his hands in his cargos as he sighs. “I was selfish earlier,” he admits, his voice full of emotion. “I was so concerned with the fact that I needed to know you were mine that I didn’t consider how confused and frustrated you must be.” His eyes come back to mine. “I’m sorry for that. I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to lock you down and not give you a choice in the matter.”
“You didn’t make me feel that way. It’s just a lot,” I admit, unable to look away. “I don’t want to ruin your reputation. And we’re so intertwined. With Missy, Sadie, and the kids, I just worry that people will think less of you.”
Something shifts in his eyes, and the veins in his arms pop as ifhe’s squeezing his hand into a fist. “Don’t you get it? I don’t care what anyone thinks but you and Skyye.”
I press my lips together. “I just feel like it’s so fast. I’ve only been home a month, and I’m already finding myself obsessed with you.”
His lips tip up as he winks. “I like that.”
I roll my eyes. “Dean?—”
“I get it,” he says softly, cutting off my complaint. “Sadie said today that you’ve felt like what you wanted didn’t matter. It matters to me. I want you to have what you want, but damn, darlin’, if I don’t need to be that want.”
I chew the inside of my lip as I search his eyes. “I don’t want to take you down with my drama.”
“You won’t. I’ll keep you afloat.”
My lip starts to wobble. “It’s so damn messy.”
“I don’t ever want to be clean, then,” he promises, his eyes sure.
“Like, we belong on Jerry Springer messy.”
He grins and chants, “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.”
I smack his chest, and he captures my hand, bringing the tips of my fingers to his warm lips. His eyes are trained on mine. “Just give us a chance.”
A tear slides down my cheek, and he looks physically pained by it. His eyes move from the tear to my eyes, and I ask, “Can we keep this just between us for a while?”
He shakes his head. “I will do just about anything for you, but I can’t do that.”
I thread my fingers with his as I fight off a grin. It doesn’t work, and his eyes narrow a bit. “How very Meatloaf of you.”
He glares. “I’m being serious.”
“He was too. I mean, he sang from his damn soul.”
He bites my finger, and I shriek in delight. His smirk is unstoppable, and while this moment is heavy, I love how playful and beautiful we are together. I step in closer, leaning on our hands that are clasped together at his mouth. Our noses touch, and I lock eyes with him as I ask, “Please?”
“Kenni—” His voice cuts off when a tear runs down my cheek. I swallow hard, and he lets out a long sigh.
“I need to talk to Missy, and we need to figure out how to tell the kids. Just till I get all this divorce shit done.”
“I don’t want to hide, Kenni.”
“I don’t either,” I stress, taking my free hand to trace the emblem of the firehouse on his chest. “But even though I know I should walk away, I can’t.”
“You could walk away, Kenni. Go figure everything out. But know I’ll be right there.” My nose burns from my tears. “I won’t push you or beg for your time. I’ll be there for you. Fuck, Kenni, I’ll always be there for you.”
