Page 121 of Luck Be Mine
“Yes.”
“That is childhood trauma speaking.”
“I don’t want to talk about my childhood.” Hunt didn’t like the growl in his voice and took a minute to slam some doors in his head.
The doctor let him have the silent minutes then finally spoke carefully. “So you’ve said before, but your protective tendencies are a byproduct of those experiences – not good, not bad – it’s where they come from. You can’t have strength without weakness. You can’t have joy without pain. Without the opposites, you can’t understand what you’re dealing with.”
Hunt cracked a grin. “Now who is getting philosophical?”
Ivers raised his hand. “Guilty. Let me ask this. Describe Cait for me.”
“Driven, funny, smart, dependable, committed, strong. She’s my rock.”
“What are you to her?”
Hunt went silent. “I don’t know.”
“You should ask her.”
“I told her she was better off without me.”
Ivers blew out air. “Hunt, never say those words to your wife. Bad move.”
“Yeah, well it started my current mess.”
“Current mess?”
“She thought I was dismissing the last five years and all the good we’ve built.”
“But it was your protective nature speaking not your truth.”
“Maybe she needs protecting from me.”
“Childhood trauma again. I guarantee if I probed, you’d recount time after time where someone told you they’d be better off without you until you incorporated the idea into your subconscious thinking. It’s not what you want to believe or what is the truth.”
Hunt stared at him, voices echoing in his head. “I hate you. You ruined my life. I wish you weren’t here.” He didn’t realize he’d spoken aloud until Ivers answered him.
“Yes. Those statements. How many times a day does Cait show you or say she loves you?”
Hunt snorted. “Constant. I can’t count. From the minute we met, the attachment was there. We were apart for a year, both miserable, and we’ve been together ever since. It’s what we want and need.”
“But you screwed it up.”
“Yes, I did. Subconscious?” Hunt swore at himself for asking because it opened a whole mess. Still, for her.
“Most likely. Your quest to protect her is you protecting yourself. She got hurt in Afghanistan, right?”
“I thought she wasn’t going to make it.”
“Protecting yourself. There’s a lot of pain and grief here, no doubt. How’s the team handling everything?”
The shift in topic threw him off. He wanted to talk about Cait. “They’re coping. At my house. But we’re working through all of it together.”
“At your house?”
“Well, we do call it Safe Harbor for a reason.”
“At some point, they need to go home.”
