Page 27 of The Vanishing Cherry Blossom Bookshop
There was a time when the two of them would watch with great interest, but after six years, the novelty had completely worn off. On this day, however, the surface of the water was blanketed with fallen cherry-blossom petals, and beneath them, spots of red, white and gold swam across the water, creating a scenic view that felt unique to the season.
‘Doesn’t it look like something you see on a hanafuda card?’
‘Maybe. Although I think it would be nicer if the water was clearer.’
Standing on the bridge, the two of them looked down at the carp as they chatted.
‘Seriously, though, I can’t get over the fact that you got into such a good university.’
‘You could have done it too if you really wanted to, Kaho. I mean, we’re mostly made from the same ingredients.’
‘Did you just say ‘‘ingredients’’?’
‘Up until elementary school, we pretty much got the same grades. You got into the same junior high school as me, too.’
‘I couldn’t have done that without your help, though.’
Then Kaho bowed at Shiho and thanked her for looking after her so well. Shiho bowed back, playfully saying that she had looked after her very well indeed.
‘Anyway, that was the hardestIever worked. You never stopped studying though, even after you passed the entrance exam. You’re so strict with yourself sometimes.’
‘I guess…’ Shiho said. ‘By that time, I was already determined to get into medical school.’
Although Kaho knew this already, this was probably the first time she’d heard it from Shiho herself.
‘And is that because—’ Kaho began to ask, but without meaning to, she stopped in her tracks. Shiho, who was a few steps ahead of her, also paused and turned around to face her.
‘Of course, it was because of what happened to Shoma-kun.’
The sisters found themselves locked in a gaze. Neither of them tried to look away. They couldn’t. A carp suddenly jumped out of the water with a big splash, but they didn’t so much as flinch.
* * *
Why was I left alone with him in that hospital room that day? Where had Mum and Shiho gone?Kaho had asked herself these questions, over and over again. But she still didn’t have any answers. All she remembered was that suddenly, it was just the two of them, with him lying on the bed. It had seemed that he deliberately chose that moment, when Shiho was not there, to confess his feelings for her. And that had made her heart flutter, just a bit. But then, he had backtracked, saying that he liked both of them. Kaho had felt a little annoyed by this.
‘But you get along better with Shiho, don’t you?’
The boy’s face was so pale, almost the same colour as the hospital bedlinen.
‘I guess so. I admit I feel more at ease when I’m with Shiho-chan. I’m so nervous right now, my palms are unbelievably sweaty. But I can’t choose.’
Shoma chuckled weakly.
Feeling somewhat proud, Kaho found herself saying, ‘That’s probably because you’re not in love with anyone, not in the true sense. We’re just kids, after all. And kids will never be adults – not until we grow up. I’m sure you’ll be able to choose properly when you do, though. My dad chose my mum, you know. So for now, let’s not think about who we like and stuff.’
They were Kaho’s honest feelings. Around that time, the girls in her class had started playing around with make-up, and were often chatting excitedly about which classmate or idol they liked. Kaho had felt a little out of place, and this was part of the reason she had said such things. If Shoma hadn’t died, then it would have just been one of those trivial moments, the kind that disappears entirely before it has a chance to leave any real impression.
But everything changed on that summer day.
Perhaps Shoma-kun never got to grow up because I treated him like a kid that day. Did my words somehow call fate upon him? Kaho knew that it was impossible. That she was overthinking it. Even still, she couldn’t suppress the emotions that lingered within her.
Ah. So this is why I invited Shiho out today – because I wanted to pour out these feelings to her. Although Kaho finally understood, she was at a loss for what to do next.
They kept walking along the riverbank, neither of them saying anything. When did the payphone by the sweet shop disappear? Remember that greengrocer’s dog that used to sleep in a cardboard box? That shop is gone now.They should have been chatting away about these things, but the words wouldn’t come.
Soon, they were approaching a row of cherry trees. As Kaho lifted her head, she was astounded by the sight before her. Although only for a moment, all her thoughts vanished as she gasped in wonder. When she finally glanced beside her, she saw that her sister, too, was moved by the scene. Under the dazzling light, Shiho squinted behind her glasses.
Spotting a bench, the sisters agreed that no Hanami was complete without a picnic and sat down. Shiho placed her tote bag on her knees and produced a bag of chocolates. She handed it to Kaho. They were those high-cocoa-content chocolates that claimed to help with drowsiness.
