Page 33 of The Vanishing Cherry Blossom Bookshop
‘Obviously not? We’re living under the same roof – you would have known if I was.’
‘Why did you randomly bring up “shotgun marriage”, then? You nearly gave me a heart attack. There’s usually at least a boyfriend in the picture when people start mentioning kids and marriage, you know. How is it that you think of yourself as a “sensible person” and me a “weirdo”? You really make me laugh.’
She sure does like to hold a grudge,Kaho thought. But instead, she said, ‘Don’t you laugh at me.’
Shiho’s expression turned serious at that moment. Kaho knew that it wasn’t because she was obeying her.
‘If I’m honest, though, I don’t really understand love or being in love anymore. But I’m pretty sure that what I felt at the time was real. It came from the deepest part of my heart. I sincerely wanted to protect him, to be there for him, to save him. But in the end, I couldn’t do anything, and then he was gone…’
The emotion, that sense of helplessness that Shiho felt in the hospital corridor came rushing back to Kaho.
‘And that’s the reason a part of me feels like I’m done with all of that.’
‘I mean for now, of course,’ her sister added.
To which Kaho responded, ‘I guess we can’t predict the future.’
Averting her gaze, Shiho looked up at the cherry blossoms. ‘So, if you are interested in this whole getting married and having kids thing, then that’s great news for me – I mean, I’d be so grateful.’
At a loss for a reply, Kaho told her again that no one can predict the future.
‘Time to go home?’
‘Yeah. I’m getting hungry.’
So they agreed, and got to their feet. As they did so, Shiho began to speak.
‘By the way, I forgot to mention something earlier. Apparently, there’s a theory that humans are also neotenous. You know how we have relatively less body hair and bigger heads? These are typical traits of juvenile mammals, you see. And that got me thinking. If that theory is true, then the people who have chosen to live their entire lives as children must be the ones who started playing around with words. They’re the ones who created a distinction between adults and children, and invented such a term as “neoteny”, and began diligently analysing themselves as well as other creatures. And that made me go, “How funny is that? It’s like one massive comedy, right? Or maybe it’s a bad joke.” But yeah … that’s all, really.’
As she listened to Shiho in a daze, Kaho was also thinking to herself.
Eventually, I will forget about the boy who never got the chance to grow up. While I may never forget him completely, I will find a place for him somewhere deep inside my heart and keep him locked away. But my sister will not; Shiho will forbid herself to forget. She will forever resent the passing of time as she and Shoma grow further and further apart in age.
It’s all equally tragic,Kaho thought.For me, for Shiho, and most of all for him.
The whole way home, Kaho couldn’t get these thoughts out of her mind. The surface of the river was scattered with cherry blossoms. A school of small fish – different from the carps – glimmered in the sunlight.
As soon as they walked through the door with a ‘Tadaima’, they heard the sound of their mother’s slippers flapping against the floor as she came running towards them. Instead of greeting them with ‘Okaerinasai’, she spread out her arms and exclaimed, ‘Ta-da! Isn’t this outfitsocute? It arrived today. I was so excited, I had to put it on straightaway.’
Their mother was wearing a different set of clothes from when she saw them off. This time, it was a trouser suit with faint pink stripes over white.
‘Shiho-chan, there’s going to be an induction ceremony at your university as well, right? I’m thinking of wearing this. What do you think?’
‘Yeah, why not?’
Taken aback by her sister’s cool response, Kaho gave her profile an icy glare.
Shiho continued, ‘But Dad mentioned to me that he would come to my ceremony, and send you to Kaho’s. The dates are so close together, he said it’ll be tricky for both of you to attend both ceremonies.’
What? Where did that come from? Flustered, Kaho began to say, ‘Is that for real?’ But her mother interrupted.
‘Really? He hasn’t told me any of this!’ she said.
‘He said that he didn’t really have a choice because “Tae-chan might not be able to get back here safely from Tokyo on her own.” I think he has a point, to be honest.’
‘But you’ll be with me, Shiho-chan. So I’ll be fine.’
‘I don’t think you’ve thought that plan through.’
