Page 29 of Little Dark Deeds
“Whoo-eee!”my mother shouted.“That’s my girl.Let it out.Let itallout.”
And I did.
“I’m angry,” I said.
“Whyare you angry?Talk to me.Tell me how you’re feeling.”
I moved to a pile of teacups, annihilating the entire row.“I want the killer to suffer, to die the same way she did—hurting and in pain.”
“Good, what else?”
“I want her back, even though I know I can’t get her back.And I want to rewind time, find a way to prevent the murder from happening.”
“You may not get to see her again, not in this lifetime, but youwillcatch the person responsible.When you do, you’ll make sure they never hurt anyone ever again.Tiffany will have the justice she deserves, and you’re going to get it for her.”
“Justice won’t bring her back.”
“Maybe not, but it will give you closure, her father too, I expect.”
“I don’t want closure.”I swiped at a wall of plates, sending every piece flying, then let my bat fall to my side.“I want her to be alive.”
I leaned against the wall, allowing my emotions to rise within me, as I faced them head-on.“I just ...I don’t know if I’m equipped to deal with it all right now.”
My mother narrowed her eyes, then walked over to me.“What are you saying?”
“As determined as I am to investigate Tiffany’s murder, Foley and Whitlock may be right about me letting them take the reins on this one.”
“Since when have you ever let someone else’s opinion stop you from doing what needs to be done?”
“I’m not in the best headspace right now.”
“My goodness.I can’t believe what I’m hearing.You’re tough, Georgiana, and you’re strong, even when you’re facing a mountain of obstacles.You always find your way around, over, or through it.Now isn’t the time to stop believing in yourself.You may be married to Giovanni, but you’re still a Germaine, and we don’t back down from anything.”
All day I’d felt a strange sense of disconnection from myself, almost like I was going against my nature, against the grain of who I was as a person.It almost felt like I was outside of my own body, looking at a girl who in this moment had lost her way, her strength, her mojo.It was a wretched, horrible feeling, and I wanted nothing more than to rid myself of it.
My mother placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.“Remember when Lark was kidnapped?You didn’t hesitate to return home and hunt down the man who’d taken her.You lit a fire in yourself.You did it then, and you’ll do it now.”
In the past, my mother had always worried about me investigating murders, to the point where she often tried to talk me into choosing a different career, one that wasn’t so dangerous.Today, she was the opposite—encouraging me in a way she never had before.
“I always thought you’d jump at the chance for me to be anything other than a private detective,” I said.
“I’m your mother, and I’ll always worry, but I’ve also always known you’re where you need to be, doing the exact thing you’re meant to do.It wouldn’t be right for me to hold you back.So, how do you feel now?”
“Different.Better.”
It was true.
I did feel better, and I felt something else ...something even more rewarding.
My fire was lit, and I was ready to catch a killer.
