Page 46 of Little Dark Deeds
I didn’t blame her.
They were the best sandwiches in town.
“When you mentioned your mother just now, you wrinkled your nose,” I said.
“You don’t miss a thing, do ya?”
“I wouldn’t be great at my job if I did.”
“We’ve never been close, but she keeps trying to force a relationship, like I can just forget about all the crap she put me through in the past, the constant revolving door of my childhood, men coming in and out.My needs were always pushed to the side.Now that she’s older, her looks have faded, and she has few friends and even fewer lovers, she’s decided I have meaning in her life.”
“If you don’t want a relationship, why meet with her?”
“Tyler thought if we fixed our relationship, I could let go of some of the things from the past.”
“How’s that working out?”
“It isn’t.”
“You don’t strike me as the type of person to do something just because Tyler suggests it.”
She set the mug back down and clapped her hands together.“Right again.My mother’s unwell.Cancer.Figure I can manage a few visits here and there.She’ll be gone soon enough.”
Now I was seeing the person she was instead of the person she wanted me to see.
“What future do you see with Tyler now that Tiffany isn’t standing in the way of your relationship?”I asked.
“We may be separated, but it won’t be for long.I expect he’ll come back, sooner than later.He’s nothing without me.”
It was a bold statement.
I had a bold statement of my own.
“I believe Tyler loved Tiffany, and she loved him,” I said.
As the words poured out of my mouth, I questioned whether I’d pushed too far.She hadn’t given me much of anything yet, and here I was burning down the one bridge I was trying to create.
Jana cocked her head to the side, giving her dog a pat as she said, “Anyone ever told you you’re a bit of a jerk?”
“You wouldn’t be the first.”
“Didn’t think so.I’ve been through a lot since I learned about the affair.You may consider yourself good at your job, but it’s obvious you’ve never learned how to sympathize with the victim.”
“When you sayvictim, are you referring to yourself?”
“Who else?I’m just as much a victim as Tiffany was in this situation.”
Wow.
I bit my tongue, because if I said what I wanted to say, there would be no coming back from it.
“It’s the truth,” she continued.“I may still be breathing, and she’s not, but Tyler betrayed us both.”
I was beginning to understand Jana’s earlier remark about how Tyler would come back to her because he couldn’t live without her.In ways, they were two peas in a pod, both self-centered.Once the novelty of his affair with Tiffany wore off, would Tiffany’s selfless, kindhearted demeanor have been enough for him?
I was getting nowhere, and Jana had turned every question I’d asked into a combative, self-serving argument.I decided my energy would be better spent elsewhere, and I’d be better off trying again another day.
“There are levels to being a victim.The fact is,you’restill alive.Sheisn’t.Think about that for a minute.And hey,” I said as I stood, slinging my handbag over my shoulder, “if you consider yourself a victim, then what am I?And what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t do what I’m doing now, everything in my power to solve her murder?Wouldn’t you want a friend like that in your corner, someone who stood up, making sure you got the justice you deserved?I would thank you for your time, but all you’ve done is waste it.I’m out of here.”
