Page 41 of Meet Me in the Vines
She’s right. It wasn’t Donovan’s fault. The unsolved equation in my head finally found an answer that works. An answer that fits. But ten years of silence wasn’t easy to endure. And althoughI have the answer, the hurt still lingers in every fiber of my being. Jess picks up on my doubt, like an intuition broken girls share. Her eyes soften and her hands squeeze mine before she places them back in her lap.
“Audrey, Donovan was terrified. You know, when he figured out I did it, he laid into me pretty fucking bad. He told me he would do anything to protect you and your future. He said that you were going to New York, and that I was a piece of shit for trying to mess with your life,” she says, leaning closer on the table, propping on her elbows. “He was right. I was awful to put you in that position, even if you had no idea. His future was at risk too, and his father branded that into his brain.”
“She left because of you. You did this!”
Donovan’s voice booms through my mind. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. Donovan hadn’t noticed when I watched him go head to head with Caleb in the backyard during Gran’s funeral reception. I heard a commotion when Wyatt and Kerry secretly slipped out the door. Caleb was the one who kept Donovan from telling me. Donovan blamed his father all these years for what happened between us. My chest clenches, aching for all that was lost.
“He may not have said it to you, but he loved you. He told me how he felt about you and that I would never compare,” Jess huffs, a small laugh slips from her lips. My eyes flicker with hurt for her, but she waves me off. “Oh, Audrey. It’s okay. He was totally right. I was a bitch.” We share an unexpected chuckle at the truth of it all. She really was a bitch, but this woman in front of me is different. I suppose I am too.
I stand up from the booth with Jess mirroring me. We face one another, not quite friends, but no longer enemies. And after a moment, we embrace. It’s not exactly warm, not exactly cold. Just a regular hug. But a hug, nonetheless. It’s forgiveness.
“Thank you for giving me a chance. Now maybe you can give him his,” she murmurs. She rubs the side of my arm and walks away, her blonde hair wafting vanilla and sugar in my face.
She pauses for a beat, turning back to me to say, “Oh, by the way—Kellan is a major dick.” Her lip turns up as she turns back around, heading toward the exit.
Yeah, he sure is.
I slide back into the booth and let her words linger. She walks past the window, her gaze meeting mine one last time, and waves, disappearing into a sea of people on the busy sidewalk.
Briggs notices Jess walking out of the shop, then comes in to find me, sliding in the booth across from me.
“We should get back. Mr. Vanguard is expecting you,” he mutters, lacing his fingers together on the table.
I stare out the window, squinting up at the skyscrapers surrounding me. I imagine them gone, with nothing but rolling vineyards for miles as far as the eye can see. The buzz of cars and people quiet themselves in my mind, and it’s replaced with birds chirping, a cool breeze brushing my ear. I imagine a gentle graze from Donovan’s hand on my cheek.
“What’s on your mind, Ms. Winthrop?” Briggs asks.
Donovan. Always Donovan.
“Nothing. Let’s go.”
Chapter Thirteen
DONOVAN
Twenty-eight days. It’s been twenty-eight days since I left the hope of Audrey in my rearview mirror. I deserved every word that she spewed onto me. Seeing her back in Oakwood Valley, I thought maybe we could start over, try again like the past never happened. I know how much I hurt her. Watching her push me away, the pain written all over her face as she told me she wouldn’t stay…that’s the worst I’ve felt in a long time. At least, in the ten years since I stood her up for our first date.
Noah clears his throat to bring me back to the task at hand. My mind is wandering so often these days. It’s hard to focus on anything other than her radiant eyes and her strawberry scent. For now, the smell of fermented grapes will have to do as we pace through the vast wine cellar under the Winthrop property, taking inventory of various vintages from the last twenty years, tallying up shiny bottles of wine and towering oak barrels lining the walls.
“What’s on your mind, son?” He always knows when something is up. Nothing gets past him.
“Audrey.” No point in lying. He knows I’ve been fucked up over her since I was a teenager. He hums and matches my pacebeside me with his hands behind his back. Even though he says nothing, I feel the need to say more.
“I messed up. Again.” He just nods. He’s really going to get it all out of me right now, isn’t he? I let out a sigh and stop walking. Noah halts beside me.
“I kissed her, because she wanted me to. And…well, things were getting a little heated…” I look over at him, feeling awkward because that’s her grandfather. He chuckles and shakes his head.
“Son, I was young once. You know, Vi and I were really adventurous when we were your age. One time, she and I were going at it in the back of—” I throw my hands over my ears and start yelling nonsense words to avoid hearing where this conversation is going. His laugh is hearty as he claps on my shoulder.
“You’re trying, son. You’ve got a good heart, and I can see how much you care for Audrey. But you’ve got to understand the hurt runs deep. Growing up without her mother, dealing with the chaos her dad brought into her life, mourning her first big heartbreak.” Noah gives me a soft smile that I feel I don’t deserve. I broke her heart. I did. God, I want to fix it. “Well, that doesn’t heal quick. Be patient. Give her time,” he replies.
I absorb his words, averting my gaze to focus on a lone cork on the ground. I bend down to pick it up, prodding it with my fingernails.Give her time.Yeah, well, how’s ten years’ time for you? It hurts every part of me knowing that Audrey’s life wasn’t easy. It hurts even more knowing that I contributed to make it more difficult than it already was. Noah lets out a deep exhale, breaking me out of my daze.
“And now she’s in a relationship with someone she doesn’t even want to be with.”
My eyes widen. “What do you mean? Did she say something to you?”
He sighs and rubs his face. “No. She hasn’t said anything, but I know. I know my granddaughter.” His voice chokes up slightly, and I put my hand on his shoulder.
