Page 54 of Meet Me in the Vines
I give myself a quiet moment, pacing back and forth in the living room. My eyes stay fixed on the scruff marks that are scored into the wood floors as I process the intense flood of emotion that comes over me.
“Honey, let’s sit on the porch. It’s a gorgeous day,” he says softly, inadvertently knocking me out of my head. I smile sweetly and nod as he guides me out to the porch.
“You want something to drink? I’ve got a great Sauvignon Blanc that we just bottled a few weeks ago. It’s featured on our tasting menu this summer,” he beams.
“I’ll have a glass if you’re having one?”
He smiles and goes into the kitchen while I settle myself on a chair that looks out over the large oak trees and miles of rolling hills. The sun is high in the sky, and I sit back and close my eyes, letting peace wash over me for the first time in a long time.
My eyes shoot open when I hear Pop approaching with the clinking of two glasses and a chilled bottle of wine.
He pours us each a glass and sets it on the table that separates us as he takes a seat next to me. “Cheers, Pop. Love you,” I say, tipping my glass toward him for a clink.
“Cheers, kid. So,” he pauses, savoring the taste of the wine. “How are you?”
I take a sip and the crisp taste of alcohol and floral notes hit my tongue. Damn, that’s good. I take a second to reply, swirling the wine in my glass.
“I’m better now. I’m sorry I haven’t stopped by the last few weeks since I’ve been home. I’m sure Donovan had his reasons considering my…state.” I try to choose my words carefully, because I don’t want my grandfather to worry about me too much or even pity me.
He takes a sip and holds out his hand to me. I place my hand in his and feel the years of hard work on his calloused palm.
“He didn’t tell me everything, but he told me you were gonna be okay. And that was enough for me. I know that boy loves you. He has for a long time,” he confesses with a crinkle in his eye.
“I’m okay, Pop. I wasn’t for a while, but today, I’m better than okay,” I sigh with a smile on my lips.
His eyes get teary and he looks out into the distance.
“I’m sorry, Audrey. I should’ve been there for you when you were hurting. I…I had a feeling, but I didn’t want to push you away,” he whispers, looking down at his feet. “I can’t help but feel that part of this is my fault.” His voice trembles. My eyes grow wide at his words and I put my wineglass down. I walk over to my grandfather and kneel next to his chair, holding his hands in mine.
“Pop, what happened to me had nothing to do with you. You have always been there for me. You took care of me when my dad couldn’t.” My lip quivers as I look into the eyes of the man who always had my back, who loves me unconditionally. “You supported me through every endeavor I wanted to pursue, like dance team and chess club—and I sucked at both.” He lets out a laugh and I do the same, a tear slipping from the corner of myeye. I take a deep breath, summoning every bit of courage in my body to share what I do next.
“He hurt me. Kellan hurt me. It didn’t start that way. I thought I was in love, but over time, he broke me down,” I murmur, taking a deep breath before continuing.
“It started with small things, like encouraging me to dye my hair because he preferred it to my natural color. I didn’t see it, but he was grooming me.” My voice breaks and I suck in a sharp inhale to keep going.
“He would say he needed me, that he couldn’t bear for me to be away from him. He used emotional manipulation to keep me in the palm of his hand, and I let him,” I mutter. I take another deep breath to spew out the hardest confession.
“The physical abuse started around five years ago.”
He lifts a hand to squeeze his eyes shut and scrubs his fingers over his face in disbelief.
“Five years? Five years you endured that? I should’ve been there for you,” he chokes out a sob, and I scoot closer to him, squeezing his hands tighter.
“Pop, it was my fault. I was so ashamed of the situation I got myself in. I didn’t want you and Gran to see me that way. I couldn’t leave him, no matter how hard I tried. He always had me coming back,” I spoke softly. Each confession lifts another weight off my shoulders, even though it’s painful to admit.
His eyes search for the sun, squinting as tears flow from his eyes.
“Hey, look at me, Pop,” I whisper, craning my head to meet his gaze. “I’m okay now. Donovan…he saved my life,” I choke out. It’s a powerful thing to say out loud.
“Each day I feel stronger, Pop. I’m here for a new beginning. The dreams I tucked away to forget? I believe in them again. That’s because ofyou, Pop. You always believed in me,” I cry out, and he picks me up off my knees and pulls me in for an embrace.He breathes in my hair and stifles his sobs. I pull back and kiss him on the cheek, resting my head in his lap as he strokes my hair, just like he did when I was little.
“Tell me about your dreams, kid.”
Taking Jules out to spread her legs, per Tia’s advice, makes me feel sixteen again. I love this car. The windowless soft top invites the cool breeze, my hair flying wild as I zoom down the road. It’s summer in Oakwood Valley, the best time of the year. The sun is high in the sky, not one cloud in sight. Cut grass and soil simmer in the air, plus the occasional waft of freshly baked bread and espresso as I make my way down Main.
I see a bachelorette group taking a selfie on the sidewalk in front of the hottest bar in town, Siren’s Flask. Kerry’s best friend, Jackson, owns the place. Gran loved it there. Donovan told me that Gran would crash their boys nights, taking shots and having endless conversations with them all night. God, I wish I was there for all of that.
But I’m here now and I need to get a new phone. I focused my attention these last few weeks on healing my body and letting Donovan heal my soul, but it’s time to close the door on Kellan once and for all. Since Briggs let us know that Kellan was released the morning after the incident, an unsettling ache has sat in the pit of my stomach. A mere slap on the wrist for nearly killing me. I’ll feel safer once I get a new phone and a new number. Fresh start.
