Page 49 of Meet Me in the Valley
And fuck, does it hurt.
“I’ve known you my whole life, and before you moved away, it was always me and you.”
That brings a smile to my face. Not a full, toothy smile, but a closed-mouth one as brief memories of Audrey and I as kids, barefoot and attached at the hip, flash in my head.
Audrey moves her mug to the side of the table and leans on her elbows in the open space in front of her. “He’s your best friend. And not like how I am. He’s … I don’t know, T. He’s more. The love you two have for each other … it’s magic. You move, he moves. It’s a beautiful thing to witness.”
I don’t notice I’m crying until I feel the wetness there on the edge of my jaw. I reach up to wipe my face, drawing in a shaky breath.
“I think I’m falling in love with him,” I confess in a whisper, saying the words out loud so I can test how they sound out in the open. When I search for peace in them, all I find is regret.
Probably because I said the words all wrong. It’s not falling in love—it’sfallen.
“Oh, babe,” Audrey coos.
“I hate that I’m so fucking scared. He looked so hurt when I denied it, Auds. And then he asked me to tell him to stay?—”
“He did?” Audrey asks incredulously. I roll my lips between my teeth, nodding a terse yes.
“Obviously, I told him to go. That the notion was ridiculous. We never confessed any feelings out loud, but the way he looked at me …” I trail off, my eyes fixating on a carving in the table, just on the corner, peeking out from under my mug. My fingers move across the etched letters. A faded“K”and“&”.
“I see the way he looks at you, T. I think you two need to stop denying yourselves and just go for it.”
I cover the withered letters with my mug, giving Audrey my full attention. “It’s not that easy,” I scoff, but it sounds more like a laugh than anything.
Sure, falling in love with your guy best friend is always easy. Said no one ever.
“It can be, though. If you let it.”
It’s easy for Audrey to give me the go-after-your-love-and-don’t-look-back pep talk. She’s amped up on the subject of love. She’s about to marry the boy she’s been pining after since middle school. An epic love story that they make movies about.
I hear what she’s saying, really trying my hardest not to be a cynic. I’m losing patience in this conversation, and in no way is it her fault. I’m just not in a headspace to receive this.
Let me live in my delusion longer.
“I’m sorry, Auds. I know you’re trying to keep it real with me. There’s just so much happening right now. I’m all out of sorts. I don’t even know how to approach the Logan situation.”
She reaches across the table, holding my hands. I smile, remembering how earlier this year, she and I sat in this same booth—when she needed me. When she poured her heart out, and I held her hands, just like this.
“Don’t apologize. Ever. You call, I’ll come running. Whenever and whatever you need, you’ll always have me.”
Well, if that doesn’t make me a lucky girl.
“Will you just promise me one thing?” she asks, squeezing my hands tight.
I resist the urge to roll my eyes, knowing Audrey’s masterful ability to challenge me on a subject I was done discussing fifteen seconds ago. Instead, I give her a smile dripping with sarcasm, which makes her laugh.
“Will you find it in you to be the brave, bad ass bitch I know you are and try? No regrets.”
She doesn’t have to say what she wants me to try for. More likewhoshe wants me to try for.
Him.
I’m surprised at how easily the answer comes. Maybe it’s all the consistent badgering from Audrey—surely calculated.Sneaky.Maybe coming home has changed me in ways I didn’t even realize until now. Maybe it’s because I miss him so much I feel lost.
Is he thinking about me?
Does he miss me, too?
