Page 74 of Weston & Cyrus
His chuckle said he knew what I was thinking but he let me get away with it. Probably because he liked the new topic better, but I couldn’t decide if he’d been fucking with me to get me to talk about it or not.
The fact that I couldn’t decide if I’d been manipulated was frustrating and kind of sexy for some stupid reason.
If he gave me another weird kink, I might just kill him.
“I’m honestly flexible as long as we’re both on the same page.” Projecting a calm honesty that made his answer feel true, he raised one eyebrow and leaned back, making me sigh. “It’s the communication issue I have a problem with and not knowing how to handle it.”
Yeah, I could see that.
“I…I realize I shut down when something makes me uncomfortable outside of a scene.” It wasn’t helpful at all, but I couldn’t always stop myself. “I’ll work on that.”
He cocked his head and his expression looked skeptical and thoughtful. “I can’t decide if you’re lying to yourself or me.”
Both?
“Neither.” I wasn’t stupid…just not that bright sometimes. “I can learn to communicate more effectively.”
I did it at work, so I could do it with Cyrus.
Hopefully.
“My thoughts are kind of jumping around, but let me ask you something. Why have you always said that you don’t want…that kind of dynamic outside of a scene?” He paused before continuing. “You’ve mentioned it several times when you dated different guys.”
His memory was frustrating.
“Primarily because guys like that go too far too quick.” It was insane. “Like first date or first scene and then I’m supposed to hand over my life to them. One guy was nice but he wanted to micromanage my schedule and have me check in a dozen times a day. That wasn’t reasonable or sexy.”
I could handle unreasonable if it was sexy, but he hadn’t hit on either of them. Luckily he’d moved for work before I had to run into him too many times after that, but it’d still been frustrating.
Cyrus nodded. “Yeah, that’s not something you’d want or need.”
“It made me feel smothered, not special.” And he hadn’t been able to understand that or the humiliation thing. “I’ve run into that kind of stuff a few times.”
“I think that’s because they were looking to manage things you don’t need help with.” Cyrus let the silence drag out until I sighed, and then he smiled and kept pushing. “You don’t needa thousand texts a day to feel important but a handful of spicy ones seem to do the trick.”
Brat.
I managed not to react too strongly but his smile got wider. “You do need help communicating and being open with what you’re thinking, though.”
I really didn’t like how right he was in our current predicament.
“That’s something to think about.” Grasping for another topic since I’d decided this one sucked as much as the last one had, I picked up the tiny dessert menu. “Have you ever had their chocolate torte thing? I don’t remember.”
I pretended not to notice the way he rolled his eyes, but that was mostly because I wasn’t sure it was the right moment to point out bad manners.
“Like this. You got squirmy and since it wasn’t a turn-you-on kind of thing, you avoided it.” Cyrus said that like it was a bad thing but I had to disagree with him. Unfortunately, he kept going before I could decide how to word it. “But I’ve been thinking, if I pushed you to answer and stay on topic, we could shift it in your…your more preferred direction.”
He could make it embarrassing and sexy? Not just frustrating?
“How?” I wasn’t opposed to the idea because my avoidance was going to fuck things up if I wouldn’t let him push. That was obvious. “I don’t think my…imagination works that way.”
“Mine does.” Cyrus’s eyes sparkled with sexy mischief, so he clearly liked whatever he was picturing. “What if every time you started avoiding a topic we needed to clarify or a conversationwe needed to have, I asked you if you were distracted by something naughty?”
Oh.
I must’ve looked stupid, confused, or simply fun to fuck with because he shifted like he was settling into a fun fantasy. “Earlier when you came in and it was obvious you were jumpy and there were things we needed to iron out, I would’ve pushed and if you’d tried to avoid the conversation, I might’ve asked if you were thinking about being bent over the bench or if your cute little toy needed attention and that was why you couldn’t function.”
I.
