Page 138 of Dangerous Men
“And you think you can just ask me if itbothers me?Does it bother me that you’ve killed people? Hurt people?” She shakes her head. “I don’t want this violence in my life. And I’ve worked so hard to move past it. And now… now you’ve ruined it, you know that? You and your fucking brothers.You’ve ruined it.”
Her shoulders shake when she says it. I want more thananything to hold her. To comfort her. I reach out for her without thinking, but stop myself, letting my hand fall to my side.
Instead, I stand there and watch as she curls in over herself, whispering so softly I almost don’t hear it. “Bad things happen when I get angry, Alec.”
“Bad things happen when I get angry, too,” I tell her.
She doesn’t say anything to that. Just hugs herself tighter.
“I don’t want to lose you, darling.” That’s another lie. I don’t know if I can stand losing her. I don’t know if I could survive it. “If this is too much for you… it can be just the two of us. If that’s what you need, we can do that. If my brothers are the problem, if Viper is too much?—”
She flinches at the mention of his name, and my heart shatters. For the first time in my life, I hate my brothers just a little. I hate that they might be the reason she leaves me.
“Please,” I plead. “I can’t lose you.”
But it’s happening already. She’s retreating, curling in over herself, her arms wrapped around herself so tight she’s sure to bruise.
I take a panicked step closer, desperate to be near her. “I know he scared you. But we can keep him away. We can?—”
“That’s not—” Sydney shakes her head. “Him scaring me wasn’t the problem, Alec.”
Of course not. It’s so much worse than that. Hehurther. He showed her how violent we really are, the darkest side of all of us. Made her relive some sort of fucked up trauma she has with her own anger. “I can send him away,” I promise, reaching for her. “You’ll never have to see him again.”
“Alec—”
“We can keep him away from you. Sebastian knows how to handle him. We can?—”
“I liked it!” she cries out, turning back toward me. “I liked it, okay?”
She doesn’t look at me when she says it, staring at the ground next to me instead, and I let my hands fall back to my sides in shock.
Sydney takes a hysterical breath, more like a sob. There are tears in her eyes, and when she blinks, they spill out and over her cheeks. “He put a knife…” She stops and swallows hard. “Hebitme, Alec, and I … I liked it.”
My heart beats hard in my chest. Once. Twice. Thrice. Three full heartbeats before I realize what she’s really saying. Before I understand.
“You liked it,” I say softly. “You… you wanted him.”
Sydney takes a quick step back and turns away from me, distancing herself.
No. I surge forward into her space, taking her face in my hands, needing her to look at me.
It’s not just me. It’s not just me she’s fallen for.
“You don’t want me to keep him from you, do you, Red?” My voice is raspy. Hungry. “Any of them?”
Sydney shakes her head, still refusing to meet my eyes. “I know it makes me sick, but?—”
“You have no idea, do you?” My voice is thick with awe when I say it. “You have no idea what a wonderful creature you are?” I trace my finger over her cheek, gathering the tears there, marveling at this beautiful queen before me. Made for us.
She looks at me then, and her eyes are so beautiful, sparkling with tears.
“You can have it,” I promise her, brushing her tears away when they fall. “All of us. And we’ll give you everything. We will give you the fucking world if you ask for it.”
My brothers have always been a part of me. The best and the worst parts. And this beautiful woman?
She wants all of it.
“I could make you a queen,” I promise her, meaning every word.
