Page 32 of Redemption
Finally, I laid her down on my chest and whispered, “You are so damn beautiful…”
Attempting to catch her breath, she laughed. “No… I think that title goes to—you!”
I held her to me and kissed her sweetly now. Finally breaking the kiss, I said, “We will need days and days before I get my fill of you, sweet girl.” I wrapped my arms around her to secure her to my chest and she straightened her legs out. So we were skin to skin until we fell asleep.
Chapter Nine:Mistakes
Cinnamon
I awoke to feel his hot breath in my ear as he slept. I remained still. I now knew it. That sensual pleasure for a woman was real. I had never climaxed in all these years. Never knew that I could really. I also realized what I had been doing for a living hadn’t been real. It was all pretend and act, never the real thing. My body felt sated like it had never been before. How could I not know about this? What he did to me, how it made me feel as he took me on a trip to a heaven I never knew existed. I’d thought I had experienced it all, but apparently I knew nothing about this kind of sex. Hot, heavy, heart pounding and exquisite.
I did nothing to achieve it either. He did it all to me. I simply went along for the ride he took me on. And what a ride it had been. I had performed so many acts on men that they had directed me to do. And they were just that…acts with no feeling and no pleasure for anyone except for the john.
I think I was too stunned to move from on top of him when I fell asleep last night. Now, when I awoke his arms were still around me. I just wanted a little while to pretend that this would be my future. I never believed I would be with a man like him. He knew how to give pleasure to a woman… man, did he ever know. I smiled. If only we could…
I sobered. Time to face it. Last night after I learned that O would be set free, I knew I would have to run. I also knew that my one chance at being with a man for real would be gone when I did. So, I flat out asked Redemption to take me to his room. He did look hesitant and puzzled by my request. He didn’t know it was the only night we would ever have. I figured he would be fine with that anyway. A man like him wouldn’t want a woman like me in his life permanently. I wouldn’t blame him either. I mean most men wanted a woman who had been…Well, not me. A woman of the trade, of the night.
Since he was here with the other part of his family, he would eventually find out about me and I refused to try to fool him in any case.Lies were a road paved to hell.Mickey told me this very thing last week when he’d been talking about some regular that came into the bar with other women who weren’t his wife.The truth really does set you free,he had added.
Only in my case it really would if I told him the truth. Set me free from Redemption wanting anything to do with me. Now, after last night, I especially did not want to see reprehension in his eyes. I would probably fall apart if this happened and I had done that enough in my life. He could hurt me, not physically but emotionally as I already liked him too much. So, last night I went for it. That brass ring as it were. Take a trip with him and I sure wasn’t disappointed. He made love to me and gave me more than I ever dreamed.
He didn’t realize it but he gave me more than he knew. He opened my eyes to a world I never believed in. Receiving pleasure for the sake of someone wanting to give me pleasure. He treated me like a queen and I would cherish it for always.
I rose up gently and slowly slid from him. I paused to gaze at his face. When he slept, the man looked sweet. I could almost see the boy he once was…almost. I don’t think in all my days I’d ever seen a man as sexy as him and I mean sexy as in the way he moved and also how he handled my body too. All man, but gentle. A tear rolled down my cheek. He would have never been mine to keep anyway. I had to face that and I never wanted him to know what I had been in my past. The thing that hit me was… if I couldn’t have him, I probably wouldn’t settle down with a guy. Who would compare? So, if I couldn’t have it all. I would have nothing.
The story of my life, I suppose. I’d never had it all, and I realized I never would. Some would think this was self-pity. It wasn’t. It was my reality and had been since I was a kid. My mom had been a drunk and she never took care of me. I had to be taken into the system when I was eight years old. And that was when the real nightmares started. One home after the other. Foster care was a horrid system. If I did get a good set of parents, I would be turned in after a year and end up crying myself to sleep for a week. Mostly, it was bad parents. Making a slave out of me, to earn my keep. Or some would ignore me altogether as in forgetting to feed me and leaving me at the park alone. They’d just act attentive when other social workers were around. No, this had always been my reality and there was no room for self-pity. I realized that to get out of the hard life, I had to pave that road myself.
Sighing quietly, I picked up my clothes and dressed as swiftly as I could, then I eased the door open. Turning, I looked back over at the man who had really lived up to his name.Redemption.He had in his own way redeemed me and he would never even know that. I quietly shut the door on my dreams, on the only man I would probably ever be with physically as I knew already, I didn’t want anyone else.
I hurried to my room and opened the door. Entering, I tried to keep my tears back. Crying wouldn’t help me. Right now, only hiding would and even then, I knew I barely had a chance. I would layover at my friend Jewels’ then get the first bus ticket out. To where I had no idea, but I still vowed to become a designer. I would never return to the trade, I couldn’t now even if I had to. Not after I had gotten the courage to leave O’s employ and have a decent life. And especially not after the night I just had. No, I would starve first. In reality, I had only gone into it for that reason in the first damn place, I was homeless and starving back then.
I packed up the things Talon had allowed me to get from my old apartment and head out. After a quick shower, I dressed and shoved my dirty clothes into my bag. I dried my hair and checked the time. 4 a.m. I needed to get going before the sun rose.
I grabbed my bag and looked around. This had been the nicest room I’d ever stayed in. The house too. A world that… I swallowed heavily…wasn’t for me. Heading over to my door, I opened it and peeked out. I quietly headed down the hall. I would have to use a spot in the fence I’d made myself the other day. When the other Walkers arrived and we learned why they were here, I had to face the fact I might have to escape. I knew deep down they would do the right thing and make that trade. I already had a ten speed Ma let me have, parked close by. I could use that to get to town.
I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. I would need a few bottles of water to cycle all the way into Ramton and on the country roads no less. Packing that in, I grabbed an apple and an orange. That should do it. I turned and gasped.
Ma Walker stood there and cocked her head at me. “You goin’ somewhere, Miss Cinnamon?”
I bit at my lip and swallowed heavily then replied, “I have to. They are going to set her free.”
Ma shook her head. “The Walker men can protect ya.”
“No, I won’t have them doing that.”
“And why not?” she asked as she moved closer. Then she seemed to look me over. “If money was good lovin’ you look like a million bucks, Cinnamon. Like a well fed kitty in fact.”
My mouth popped open.
She chuckled. “Never mind me, I’ve lived a life that gives me certain insights. But why would you leave a man that could make ya happy?”
“Would I make him happy? No, Ma. When he finds out what I used to be…Can’t you see? No man wants damaged used up goods.”
Ma let out a sigh.
“Besides, if O is free I need to be hundreds if not thousands of miles from here. If I want to keep my skin on my body.”
Ma looked shocked then her expression turned angry. “You don’t mean…”
