Page 45 of Redemption
“Want to what?” My question was breathless at best.
“Will see how you feel later,” he replied. “I don’t want to tire you out. You’ve been through a lot today.”
I just kept staring at him. Was this guy for real? I never had a man care about me…ever. Not like this. “I’m fine now. I mean no headache and…” I raised my head up to look at him. “I’m still alive. You saved me from…” I couldn’t finish.
“You said slaughter,” he reminded me. “How do you know what…I mean how do you know that would have happened?”
“Believe me, I know. They take betrayers or anyone who crosses her there. You are put into a cage and left there for a few days. You know… just to make it more terrifying while you wait to be snuffed out. Only it’s never quick like snuffing would be. She will have you tortured over several days more. Not enough to kill you. Then they will feed you well and give you all you need to get better…” My words floated away.
“That’s…” He looked enraged. “My God.”
I nodded. “Then the second round, you think will be the same and you thinkwell I survived the first part. But no…” I felt sick to my stomach as I went on, “They…” I gulped heavily. “Strip your skin f-from your b-body.”
He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “That will never happen to you.” He growled.
“I came close today.” I looked up at him. “I won’t die that way. I will kill myself first.”
He scooped me up and held me close. “I will never let that happen either.”
“You won’t be there,” I whispered as tears rolled down my face.
He paused. “I will be with you.”
“Redemption…” I sniffled through my tears as I finally got the courage up to do what I had to do. “I need to tell you the whole truth. You deserve it, especially after what you did for me today. And I want to say first that I will not blame you when you walk away from me, ok? I won’t. I already know it will happen.”
Pulling back, he stared at me. “I know you were a stripper. I don’t care.”
I couldn’t even swallow.A stripper, how tame compared to the real truth.I needed to just jump this cliff. Tear this bandaid off and bleed. “Before I was a stripper, I was…” I almost choked. Then with a sob, I said, “I was a hooker.” I raised my gaze to meet his. “A 50 dollar hooker. Do you get that? I did whatever a man wanted. I made my living that way.”
He looked a bit white in the face now.
I nodded. “Yeah, the truth is shocking. I won’t deny that. I also won’t give you the sob story about why I was doing that. I could have lived in the homeless shelters maybe? I could have…” I burst into tears. “Dug in the dumpsters to eat. I know I could have done something else, but I didn’t.” Lowering my head, I couldn’t look at him now. I didn’t think I could take it. The revulsion he would have in his eyes. “I-I didn’t want you to know, so that is another reason I ran. I just wanted one night. One night of the real thing. So I could see what it was like to have a man please me. I-I never had that before. So now I had to tell you. You went and got me. I just cannot deceive you anymore.” I kept my head down. “So it is ok. Just leave. You don’t have to stay.”
Silence.
I waited for him to get up, but he didn’t. Finally, I had to raise my gaze up.
He stared at me and his face still showed some shock. “I admit. I never thought…” He sighed and pushed his fingers through his hair. “But I can see what you went through to leave that life. You are still the woman I thought you were. Full of courage and hope to make yourself a better person. Do you know how many women I’ve slept with?” He scoffed. “Fuck, I don’t think I can even count them all.” He shrugged. “I know society treats women differently when it comes to this subject.”
“You really don’t have to excuse me, I don’t excuse myself for it.”
“I want to know it all,” he stated as he looked into my eyes.
Stunned by this, I blinked at him several times. “What?”
“I want you to tell me all of it. How did you get to the point where you had to sell your body?”
I just sat there staring at him. Then I shook my head. “I don’t want to tell you my sob story. It doesn’t make any difference now. It doesn't matter.”
With a low growl, Redemption grabbed my hand. “It matters to me.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “Most of my childhood...I spent taking care of myself. Like my first memory was…no food in the house. My mom was passed out on the couch and I was hungry. I think I was about five? So, I looked through her purse and found like 2 bucks and went to the corner store. I got a donut or something. Then I just kept getting any dollar bills she had in her purse or pockets after she was… passed out. Which was almost every day. I kept myself fed that way. As I got older, I realized the house was a filthy pit, so I learned how to clean. I did all the cleaning and cooking. She was gone all night, every night…I think?” I had no tears in my eyes now as I realized something that shocked even me. “Oh, wow…”
“What?” Redemption asked in concern.
“She didn’t have a job. I think? Oh, my God!” I raised my hands to cover my face. “She was selling herself! That's why she had those bills in the first place. I just never thought about it before now! I-I turned out to be just like her.” Tears suddenly filled my eyes. “How could I have missed that fact?” I dropped to the bed and rolled over to hide my face. “I’m a fucking whore, just like her! I never knew… I mean I’ve been too busy trying to survive to stop and think about it. I-I never told anyone my story before. Not like this. I inherited it. Fuck!” I wept. “Go away! You need to stay away from me!” I was sobbing now as I couldn’t seem to get a grip.
Suddenly, I was in his arms and he held me close.
