Page 45 of The Secret of the Dashing Detective
“Say that we will – that we can.”
“I cannot make any promises,” he finally said. “I do not want to ruin you for… for whoever will one day become your husband.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “And just who do you suppose that will be?”
“You seemed fairly intent on Lord Hemingway.”
She looked away from him, the breeze causing her stray hair to float away from her face. “I need to speak to him, actually,” she said. “I have no wish to, for I will only be letting him down, which brings me no joy. But I also cannot marry him. We both know that.”
Matthew reached out and took her hands in his. “If I am being honest, I must tell you that I have never felt for another woman the way I feel for you. But Juliana… how would we have a future together? What do I have to offer you? You have seen the life I lead, what a home with me would look like.”
“Like your parents’?”
“Yes, something like that.”
“I loved your parents’ home. It was so full of love.”
“Yes, but could you leave a mansion like this – one of many where you currently reside – to live in one small place?”
“Of course,” she said, but Matthew heard the hitch in her tone, and he realized it was likely the first time she had actually thought this through and pictured what that life would be. Her hesitation brought him back to all of the reasons he had tried to warn them both away from this in the first place.
“Juliana,” he said softly, running his hands down her arms, “just take some time and think about this. Don’t rush into anything.”
“When I am with you,” she said, leaning into him, “Nothing else matters. I think of nothing but you. Of being with you. Of what it would feel like—”
He had to stop her there.
“Perhaps that is the problem, then,” he said. “Instead, think of it when you are sitting in the middle of Warwick House, enjoying a dinner prepared by your French chef.”
He said the words as gently as he could, but he knew they still stung as she started and backed away from him, immediately making him feel like an ass.
“Juliana,” he said, reaching out a hand to her, but she smiled sadly at him.
“I understand,” she said.
“I’m saying this to you because I care for you,” he said gruffly, not used to voicing his feelings aloud, but needing her to understand. “I just want you to be sure before you go forward with anything. But know this… I care deeply for you. I do.”
“I know,” she said, reaching out and taking his hand in hers, interlacing their fingers together. “And I feel the same for you. I need you to know that.”
He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, remembering what it was like to touch her more intimately, and he nodded to the house.
“Shall we return?”
He was answered not by Juliana, however, but by a yip from the distance, and they pushed through the vegetation to find Lucy waiting for them at the fence.
“Lucy!” Juliana called out, delighted to see the dog, who seemed equally thrilled at the encounter.
She bent and petted the dog through the fence, while the mongrel tilted her head into her, accepting the affection.
Matthew watched them before coming forward himself and kneeling down next to them.
“You’ve gained her trust,” he said quietly, extending his own hand, satisfied when the dog licked him. “Have you thought of bringing her home, of taking care of her?”
Juliana smiled ruefully. “I think of it all the time.”
“Then why don’t you?”
“The same reason I don’t do anything I would truly like to do – because of my mother and Giles.”
