Page 17 of The Earl's Secret
“After you left that night, my mother came into the room very shortly afterward. She found me still in… disarray.”
“Would that not cause her to find you a husband as soon as possible?” he asked, even as his heart ached that he had left Cassandra to face whatever came afterward herself. He had never meant it to happen, had assumed that he would do her more harm by staying, that she could claim she was alone in the room. He hadn’t considered her disarray.
“She did not know the specifics, and I did not provide them. I told her that there was nothing she should be concerned about, and she believed me, thankfully. Only…”
“Only what?”
She lifted her head to look at him now, the full blaze of her blue eyes boring into him. “She questioned the morality of my behaviour. Had me sent to a hospital to mend my ways, as I’m sure you know. My family told everyone I was staying with my aunt in Bath.”
He sat stiffly in his seat, staring at her. “I-I didn’t know, actually. I made it a point not to ask about you, was afraid that if I did or showed any preference for you, Gideon would guess that I had intentions toward you, and you had made it very clear just how much you would abhor being with me. I never met with Gideon at the house – purposely – and never said anything about it.”
She held herself stiffly, away from him, looking down at her hands. “I believe he has always felt rather guilty that I had to go away.”
“Was it… was it horrible?”
“Yes,” she said. “Yes, it was. I do know it could have been worse. It was run by nuns who were, at least, kind. When I returned… it seemed word had gotten out as to where I had been. No one knew anything for certain, but there was speculation. So now, all of the offers I receive – for I am still the daughter of a duke – are from those who want something from me other than simply my beauty or poise, or, heaven forbid, the person I am inside.”
“I see,” he said, looking down at his drink, which he no longer had any taste for as his stomach churned at her explanation. “I am sorry, Cassandra. If I had known—”
“Ifyou had known,” she repeated, shooting him a glare. “But you didn’t. Because you didn’t stay. You left, before I had nearly even realized what had happened between us. You were so afraid of Gideon finding out, of him feeling that you betrayed him. Well, guess what? I was the one who was left feeling betrayed. But I kept your secret, this entire time, allowing you to live life as you chose, while everything changed for me.”
Devon felt like she had punched him right in the stomach, stealing all of his breath. He had to close his eyes for a moment, recover, and remind himself that he had done nothing wrong purposefully. That he hadn’t known any of this, and if he had, everything would have been different.
“I am here now, Cassandra. Here for you. Looking out for you. What do you want to do?”
She looked down again, offering him a view of her beautiful profile.
“I suppose all we can do is continue on as though we are the people we were before… before that time together. I will try to be more amiable toward you, truly I will. As long as you promise to play no pranks, to make no fun, and to help in this endeavor. Because it matters – to me and to Gideon. And I know how close you and my brother are.”
He nodded. She was right about that. And he would give his all to this – but not for the reason she thought. True, it was partially for Gideon, but even more so – it was for her. And it always would be her.
No matter what she thought otherwise.
CHAPTER7
Cassandra had held such animosity against Devon for so long that it was strange to even think of letting it go.
She knew she would never forget what had happened between them, nor what had followed, and yet… a very unsettling thought was beginning to take root in her mind. One that she had sought to deny, but after her promise of trying to forgive Devon, she knew that her feelings toward him had not all been born from what they had done together, or the pranks he had played, or the fact he had left her so quickly afterward.
No, they stemmed from the fact that she still longed for him, still yearned for him, that every time she looked at him, she nearly forgot why she had sworn him off and instead wanted him on her, with her, near her, to feel his body against hers again.
And that was half the reason she worked so hard to avoid him.
But it was not as though she had much choice in the coming weeks, so she best do all she could to live with him. At the very least, she knew of his intelligence, that his brain worked in ways that others did not. If there was anyone outside of the family who could help with this quest, it was Devon – which was likely the very reason her brother had sought his help. That, and the fact that Gideon didn’t trust many people. Outside of the family, Devon was one of the few on the very, very short list.
It was, for the foreseeable future, the two of them here at the estate – outside of her parents and the servants, of course – so she resolved that she would do as he asked and set aside her resentment of him.
Even if there was far more that she was ignoring.
“Good morning, Lord Covington,” she said when she found him at the breakfast table.
“You do know Devon is fine,” he said, pausing from eating his eggs and toast.
She looked around the room, taking in the lone footman who stood against the wall and the one maid who came to refill the tray.
“Lord Covington,” she reiterated, and he shrugged his shoulders.
“As you wish,” he said, though he couldn’t help but add, “Cassandra.”
