Page 21 of The Earl's Secret
“Not at all,” he had responded. “In fact, I am intrigued byyou, Lady Cassandra.”
“I thought I was your friend’s little sister, good only to prank and make a fool of.”
“Not anymore,” he had responded, not interested in speaking of it further, instead asking her more questions about this bet and the badger. Apparently the fact in question was as to whether the badger was a carnivore. He could tell she had been wary at first, but eventually she had shown him what she found in a book, responding to him treating her like an equal and not a little girl to be tortured by pranks, as he had always done before.
The truth was, he had always been affected by her in one way or another, but when he was a younger man, he hadn’t had any idea what he was supposed to do about those emotions, so he’d shown his interest by teasing her and convincing her brother to play jokes on her. Any reaction from her, as annoyed as she usually was, was better than her completely ignoring him.
That night, however, was different. It had been just the two of them, and he had shown rapt attention in her without any games or tricks.
They had been sitting there on the sofa together when she had turned to look at him, her face tilting to the right in that most becoming way of hers. He had been so lost in her that he hadn’t had time to consider his own emotions, nor the ramifications of the two of them enjoying more from one another than simply conversation.
He moaned aloud in the present, remembering the sweet softness of her lips, the way she had opened up to him, with complete trust, giving her all to him, even though she would have been well aware that she shouldn’t have.
Devon had never meant for it to go any further than that. He had thought they would kiss, then go their separate ways and either never speak of it again, or perhaps he would continue to court her and show her that he could be the man for her, that she was more to him than simply Gideon’s sister.
If he went about it properly, he was sure that his friend would accept his courtship of his sister. For who would be better to marry her than the man Gideon considered closer than any other in the world?
Then all had changed when Cassandra had pushed her breasts against him, and he had figured that one caress couldn’t hurt. They had been so full in his hands, filling them perfectly, and soon feeling them through the fabric of her gown hadn’t been enough. He had slipped his hand inside, had been lost in the perfection of them.
And oh, how she had responded. She had thrown her head back, baring her neck to him, and he had taken full advantage, kissing his way down her soft skin. When she had pressed her hand against the bulge in his trousers, he had nearly exploded right there within himself, but had managed to take hold of his control even as she had slipped her hand beneath his waistband.
He had stopped then, had managed to tell her that they shouldn’t be doing this, but all she had done was whisper, “I know,” before she had continued her exploration and he became a man lost to her.
When his hands had slipped up her skirts, he had meant to do no more than use his fingers upon her, to bring her pleasure he doubted she’d ever found before – although this was Cassandra, so one could never be completely certain – but then she was begging for more, he was caught in his own need for release, and with one quick question as to whether she was sure, he was seated within her – and so fully home that he had nearly lost control and allowed a tear to fall from his eye.
He had moved inside of her, finding a rhythm, a dance that was meant for the two of them alone. He knew that nothing would ever compare to the feeling of Cassandra around him, in front of him, in his hands, him within her. The feeling of her was indelibly imprinted in his memory, and thank goodness it was so. He’d had enough sense to finish – after she did – within his handkerchief instead of inside of her, although he had known that nothing was for certain.
Afterward, they had stood there staring at one another in shock, both of them breathing heavily, dishevelled, and uncertain about what it all meant.
That was when they had heard a noise from outside the room – of course they had, there had been an ongoing party in the house – and Devon had decided that his best course of action was to leave. He would marry Cassandra, he had told himself – what other choice did he have, not that he was completely against the idea – but not like this. Not in a compromising position, which would break all of the trust between both him and Cassandra, and him and Gideon, the person who was closest to him in the world.
He would court her properly, he had decided.
But he had made one mistake.
He hadn’t actually shared that information with her in the moment.
Instead, he had murmured a quick, “that could be Gideon,” as he had hastily fastened his trousers.
Then with a nod to her, his usual charm escaping him, he had fled through the door across the room before the two of them could be found together in such disarray.
He had never stopped to consider what it would mean when she was caught – alone.
Which made him a fool and her hatred of him rather justified.
When she had avoided him afterward, refusing to see him or speak to him, he had thought that she hadn’t been interested in his affections, but had used him for the experience. He had never guessed the truth of what she had been going through.
The thought of it all and what she’d had to withstand now had him unable to finish what he had started. Instead, he lay there, panting, staring up at the ceiling, wondering just what he had done – and how he was going to fix it.
He had wanted so badly to kiss her in the long gallery. If he hadn’t been mistaken, she was ready, open to it, would have kissed him back. But, knowing her, that would only have made her push him away once more afterward. No, it was better that he did this the right way. Before he fulfilled the longing they had for one another, he must show her that she could trust him, that she could like him as a person.
Even if it was going to be immeasurably more work.
* * *
As much asDevon had been a great help yesterday in searching the long gallery, Cassandra decided that after their near-kiss, she would be best exploring the gardens alone. For her family still maintained a gardener on staff, and while some of the grounds had fallen into disarray, the gardens themselves immediately in front of Castleton were beautiful; rather romantic, one would say. She could hardly imagine the trouble she and Devon might find if they were to search them together.
The problem, she realized once she began her search, was that she had no idea just exactly what she was looking for.
